Two and a half years later - The unknown story
by Thisisourworld
Summary: Two and a half years later, Tris and Uriah find themselves still alive and running from the city once again in hope to live in peace. Jenine had a daughter she kept hidden in the walls of Erudite and went untouched by the memory serum knows all the well about her mothers plans to kill the divergents and over throw the government - my first ever fanfic, play nice :)
1. Chapter 1

I do not own any of the characters in this story, they are all from the wonderful writer Veronica Roth  
Oh, but Panton is mine ;)  
Thank you!

I woke with heavy eyes, I felt as if I'd been asleep for days. I threw my legs over the bed and as I looked around the room a lump rose in my throat, I've been here before. My breathing becomes faster and sweat begins to build at the back of my neck and palms – this can't be happening, I'm meant to be dead… aren't I?

'Tris" I hear my name as the door opens, I snap my head around so I'm facing the door; A girl, not much older than me walks I open my mouth to speak but she waves her hand to hush me.

"There will be plenty of time for questions my dear girl, but first follow me." She is already turning as she finishes the demand.

Two men push me to my feet as we begin to walk down a narrow hallway; at the end of it I see the sign of Erudite on the wall. The young woman turns to look at me, with a hint of satisfaction in her eyes. The words slip out of my mouth before I even decided to let them.

"I'm meant to be dead! I was shot … I died! I screamed at her, my throat began to throb but I pushed the pain aside, I didn't want to show weakness in front of this woman, but she didn't even stop; she kept walking towards the Erudite sign.

I didn't realize I had stopped walking until a hand wrapped around my forearm and pushed me forward. I turned to see who it was, it was an older man with dark skin and hair, id never seen him before.

I gave up fighting for answers when I was struck in the back of the head with something hard.

"I told you there would be plenty of time for questions, but unless you keep quiet ill be forced to keep you quiet myself" A voice yells from behind me, my eyesight was fuzzy from the blow to my head, I felt a tickle of blood fall down my neck.

We walk into an elevator; I'm pushed to the back and glance up as the woman selects the top floor of the building.

"You should feel special Tris, the whole top floor as been completely emptied just for you" The woman says. She meets my eyes in the mirror and grins.

This can't be good, I think to myself as I grab the hem of my shirt to stop my hands from shaking.

It took 60 seconds to get to the top floor, as I stepped out of the elevator I was pushed into a wooden chair that faced a wall of windows. The sun shined into the room, making it hard to see what was outside. I blinked a few times before my vision became clear, my mouth opened with awe. I could see every single wall of each fraction; I shook my head that can't be right I thought. I can't be back inside? I'm too much of a risk, aren't I?

I'm not sure how long I sat there staring out of the windows, but the sun began to lower as the woman came to stand in front of me.

"Restrain her." She says as she pointed to my hands.

My hands griped the armrests as two men walk towards me with something that almost looked like silver wire in their hands. I kept my eyes locked on whoever this woman was; I will not be weak.

"Who are you?" I said as I winced against the pain being caused by the two men, hoping it was noticeable.

"I'm shocked you didn't work this out as soon as you saw me dear girl," She says with a sign of disappointment almost, "but I guess you have been through a lot, with almost dying and all".

Almost dying? How did she know about that? The memory of fighting David in the lab room was dim in my head, but the pain of getting shoot wasn't. I was shot and I died, or at least I thought I did.

"Once again, who are you?" I say with a little more power this time.

"Such a silly girl, my name is Panton, leader of Erudite, daughter of Jeanine and you Beatrice Prior, you were her biggest problem and I'm going to find away to destroy you from the inside out." The words fly out of her mouth like knifes.

I stared back at her, tears began to build behind my eyes, my breath building in my chest, I was ready to burst but I wouldn't, not in front of her.

"I don't understand, I'm meant to be dead," I said in a whisper. "All of your issues with me were finished the moment I let go in the lab room!" I screamed at her. Before I could stop them; tears began to flow down my cheeks, I couldn't wipe them away, I couldn't do anything about them, all I could do was leave them to show my weakness towards her.

"You think I'd let you die such an easy death?" Panton says with a laugh and walks towards me. "You my dear girl, you are the reason my mother died, you and your friends" she began to move closer to my face as she spite her words at me. "Divergents, HA! You are all children trying to fight in a war that you know nothing about! You were taught to believe you couldn't be controlled." This time she paused and let a smile touch the side of her lips before continuing. "Don't I have news for you, a stimulation has finally been made that will contain that silly divergent brain of yours in the walls that we tell it to be contained in!"

As she finished the same to men began walking towards me, one with a black box in his hands.

I struggle against the restraints on my arms and pause only for a moment to realize that my hands are covered in blood; the wire has begun to cut into my skin. One man holds my head to the side and the other finds the vain to push the syringe into.

My last moments of life were spent looking into the eyes of a woman who was prepared to keep me alive, just to torture me.

"Uriah!" I shouted as I shot another guard "We need to get outside the fence now!"

"Already on it" He shouted back "The gates opened, I shut down the system but it wont be down for long"

I nodded and we began to run for the gate, guns going off behind us. I fell as a bullet hits my thigh, Uriah grab my left arm and threw me over his shoulders.  
"Cover your head Tris!" He screamed as another group of men began to run towards us.

"Run into the town and look for a empty building" I yelled over his shoulder as I held myself up and began to shoot at the Erudite solders.

Uriah takes a shape turn to the right and I loose all balance and fall against his body again.

It didn't take long to find somewhere to hide, since the war a lot of buildings have stayed empty, manly used by the frictionless.  
Uriah sets me down on a pile of boxes and we both look down at my leg.

"Oh Jesus Tris, can you even walk on this leg?" Uriah asked as he takes his shirt off to tie around my leg in hope to stop the bleeding.

"I don't have a chose, we need to get out of the city." I say to him.

He nods his head, but the expression of his face tells me he doesn't believe me.

We wait until nightfall to continue on, I slept, as Uriah kept watched. He stated I needed more rest considering I was now pretty much disabled.

I shaken awake, "Tris, come on we need to leave now, can you walk?"

I nod at Uriah but wince as I move my leg; I have no idea how I'm going to do to walk.

"Can you find me something I can use as a walking stick?" I ask Uriah and I lean against the wall.

"Sure, be back in a moment" Uriah said as he jogged towards to exist.

I stand against the wall, letting the last two years of torture flow over me. How have I survived? How has Uriah Survived? And then I picture the videos Paton showed us, manipulating us into suffering in silence. Tears build behind my eyes again just as Uriah walks back into the room.

"It's your lucky day Tris, somehow I've found the best looking walking stick ever." Uriah says in such a casual tone, as if he has forgotten we are running for our lives.

"If this is my lucky day, I would hate to see my bad days" I say with a laugh as I forget the memories and grab the stick from Uriah hands. "Come on, we are going to make some ground tonight. I'm not going to be able to run" I say with a sigh.

We stuck close to the walls of the buildings through the city. We reached the walls of the fence at midnight. Uriah looked at me "Ready?" He said.

"As ill ever be" I say as I take a deep breath in getting myself ready for the sharp pain that will occur as soon as Uriah touches my legs.

I reach my arms up towards the top of the fence and Uriah wraps both his arms around my knees and throws me up, just high enough to wrap my fingers around the other side of the fence. Uriah lets go and I shake as I hold my body weight.

"I'm going to push your good leg towards the top first, so you can get a better grip." Uriah said between breaths.

"Ok, lets try and do this quick" My voice is shaky and comes out in a pitch I never thought I had.

I hear Uriah laugh. "Always in such a rush Tris" and begins to push my leg upwards.

I clench my teeth together so I don't scream out in pain. My leg is almost to the top as I begin to twist my body so it falls on the top of the wall, I continue to pull myself up but my leg hits a hole in the brick and I begin to fall. I let out a small scream but Uriah catches my leg and with one shove pushes it back towards the top. With everything I have I somehow pulled myself up and both my right arm and leg dangle of the outside of the fence.

I let out a sign of relief and hear Uriah do the same.

Within minutes Uriah is up and over the fence, waiting for me to let myself fall so he can attempt to catch me and somehow he does.

I'm not sure who is more surprised, him or me. We both let a laugh as he sets me to my feet and grabs my walking stick.

"Do you remember the way?" Uriah asks me.

"My Father told me to walk straight ahead until we reach the creek and then walk east from there" I say. As I try a listen for the sound of flowing water.

"Can you walk or do you want me to carry you?" Uriah said, trying hard not to smile.

I lift my stick and hit him lightly across the head with it.  
"No, I'm fine" I say with a laugh.

Our friendship has grown over the past two years; I guess being tortured together builds a bond between two people. As we walk Uriah grabs his gun from his waistband just incase.

"What do you think they'll do?" Uriah says softly as we make our way through grass that comes up to my chest.

"Who?" I say lightly, but I know exactly whom he is referring too.

"Everyone at the camp, my parents, Zeck, Christina, Cara, Caleb and Tobias…" He says Tobias name slowly, regretting it as soon as it leaves his lips.

"I think, I think they will act like they've seen a ghost," I say with a laugh, trying to keep this conversation light.

"Come on Tris, I need you to assess the situation"

"I don't know Uriah, its been two and a half years" I stop and look at him "To them, we have been dead for two and a half years, a lot can change and our deaths" My voice broke on the word deaths and tears had began to fall over my cheeks. "They would have changed them," I continued, not caring about how weak my voice sounded with the so my emotion in it.

Uriah looked up at the sky.  
"Why did they have to do this to us? Why couldn't we have the normal lives with the people we loved?" The words spill out of his mouth with so much emotion I feel uncomfortable.

Uriah and I both know not to say anything when one of us reaches the point.

"What's to special about us? We didn't want to over throw the government or scream from the roof top that we were divergent!" He was yelling now. His tears now replaced with anger. "I was happy with being a Duntless idiot, scaring the crap out of the new comers each year, eating cake and finally getting enough courage to sleep with Marlene" He drops to his knees and begins to sob.

I reach down to place my hand on his shoulder, trying to offer any sort of comfort possible.

"Did you" He begins between sobs. "Did you and Tobias ever?" I ask me.

The question takes me off guard, my mouth hangs open as I remember the night we put everything we'd ever done to hurt each other aside and fell into each other.

"Yes, a few days before everything happened" I say so low I didn't expect him to hear me.

Uriah must have got himself together while I was reliving the memories of that night because he was standing in front of me wiping his face with the back of his hand.

"We should keep going." He says, looking of into the distance.  
"Yeah, we better." I say, almost just to myself.


	2. Chapter 2

Once again, I do not own the Divergent characters – they belong to Victoria Roth  
I hope you all Enjoy!

We only stopped because I tripped and fell over a rock that I couldn't get my foot over.

"Can you hear any water yet?" I ask Uriah as he tightens the blood soaked shirt around my thigh again. I winced with his final tug to tighten it.  
"Nope, but I'm guessing you already knew that considering your hearing it better than mine" Uriah says. "We're going to have to keep going, you are losing to much blood Tris"

I looked down at my leg; it was completed soaked with blood all the way to my foot. I could feel my head getting dizzy – but I couldn't let myself feel it, we need to reach the city.

"Ok, let's go," I say. It took every ounce of strength in my body to get of the ground and begin to walk again but somehow I did it. I guess I'm stronger than I thought I was, maybe no physically stronger but mentally.

Its getting close to midday when we finally begin to hear water, I grab Uriah's arm to get him to stop.

"What?" He says, reaching for his gun.  
"Water!" I say with a little too much excitement. I listen for another moment and take the lead. We walk for another ten minutes or so before we find the creek. I lean against a tree trunk and let a sigh of relief out.

"For a few moments there I thought we were headed in the wrong direction." I say to Uriah.

"Ha, for just a few moments? I thought that the moment we started walking" Uriah says with a laugh as he leans over the side of the creek wall and dunks him head in the water. When he brings his head back up he throws his head around letting the water splatter everywhere.

We fill out bottles up with water and sit for a moment.

"How far off do you think we are?" Uriah asks me

"We should be there by night fall" I try to sound confidant but honestly walking here took longer then we both expected, even with me having a bullet in my leg.

"Do you think your parents are there?" Uriah asked

"I hope so." The memory of discovering my parents were alive could not be clearer in my mind. It was a few days after Panton drugged me with the new serum she has created. I was thrown into a dark room when she discovered the serum didn't have an effect on me, I crawled to a corner and began sobbing when someone began speaking.

"Who is that?" They spoke softly.

I gasped as I snapped my head up, waiting for my eyes to adjust to the dark.

"Its ok, we wont hurt you," they began. "My name is Natalie and my husband whom is asleep next to is named Andrew Prior"

My sobbing stopped. All the warmth in my body fell out of me, my mouth hung opened as I tried to take in what I just herd.

"I think there has been some mistake." I say my words slowly. "My name is Beatrice Prior and I watched my parents die some time ago." This must be stimulation, I watched my parents die at the hands of dauntless solders who were under the stimulation Jeanine created in order to try and over throw the government.

"Tris?" My stimulation mother whispered. I heard her get up; her hands brush against the stonewall as she found her way to me.

"This isn't real, you aren't alive." I say as tears began to build behind my eyes again. I hug my knees closer to my body, preparing myself for the emptiness when I finally wake from the stimulation.

"My dear daughter, this is not a lie." My mother said as she placed her hand on my cheek softly. "This is real, I am alive, your father is alive and you, you are alive." She wrapped her arms around me and held me tight as my sobs exploded out of me like a wild animal.

"Tris!" I jump at the sound of my name and look around until I can see Uriah. I look up and spot him standing at the top of the tree.

"I can see the fence" Uriah yells down at me with a smile and drops himself down so close to me I actually jumped.

"If we start walking now I think we could reach the gates by late noon for sure" he says reaching out hand for me to take and pulls me to my feet.

"What did I wake you from anyway?" Uriah asks.

"Nothing, just another memory" I say with a smile. "The memory of finding out my parents were alive after all that time."

"What about the memory of finding out I was alive after the explosion?" he says teasing me.

"Oh right, the memory of me walking in my room and finding you laying on my bed, and quote" I raise my hands to make speak marks. "So, I'm not died after all, what a game changer!" I laugh as I remember the look on his face when he got up to hug me. We were the only family we had left while in there, my parents were taken away a day after Panton reunited us. All part of her plan I gathered.

"I think my attitude has been what saved us throughout our time in there, without me you would have gone crazy and well lets face it, without me carry you out of Erudite gates you would have been died." He says as he throws the small bag over his back and gives me a light shove on.

"Mm, and my shooting abilities didn't help us at all as we broke out of Erudite?" I try to match is tone but I can never be as happy as Uriah. As much as I've tried over the past two years, I seem to think too much into the situations.

"Ok, maybe we are even but without me you'd still be trying to get over that fence."

"Oh get over it," I say with a laugh as we begin walking to towards the fence and hopefully, our new home.

We walk in silence for a while, only hearing our footsteps as we disturb the grass beneath us. I look up at the sky; I've never taken much time enjoying the openness off it but after 2 years of looking at the ceilings of the Erudite building I've decided to begin enjoying things like, looking at the sky.

"Honest moment for a second Tris?" Uriah asks me quietly.

I stop looking at the sky and try to look at his face through the spots in my vision from the sun.

"Go for it" I say as I reach for the drink bottle in his hands.

"We have been gone for 2 and a half years" He looks to the side, not wanting to show me whatever emotion he is feeling. "They have grieved for us, they said their good byes to us" This time he turns his head and looked straight at me. "We heard their good byes, we laid there on the table unable to say anything to them, to let them know we were actually alive."

This is not a memory I want to remember, I begin to adjust the knot around my thigh in hope he may realise and drop the subject.

"My family, I heard their cry's as they walked from the room for the last time, heard you saying your goodbye to me." I look up and meet Uriah eyes, his eyes are empty as he looks over me looking at nothing. He's reliving his last days inside what was meant to be our safe house.

"I don't" I began but realised I don't have anything to say to him. I know the pain he is feeling, I remember the cry's as they found me laying on the ground believing I was dead – just was Panton wanted. I push the heel of my hands into my eyes, trying to push the memories from my mind but theres no point– they have over taken.

I can feel Tobias hand brush mine as he walks away from me, trying to hide his sobs. Christina's cry's as she whispers in me ear.

"Don't be gone, we need you Tris, we need you"

A lump rises in my throat. I try to swallow it and push the emotions back down into my stomach. I drop my hands and begin to shake my head- I'm not doing this. We are so close. I will not break down now.

I clear my throat and grab Uriah's hand.

"I'm not doing this, I can not do this" I look at him trying to hide any trace of emotion from my voice and face. "We are so close to the city, we are so close to getting you back to your family Uriah" I tug on his arm as I try to get us moving again.

"What about you Tris, you have family there too" Uriah tugs his hand back.

"You haven't stopped to think about how many people love you in there! Have you?" Uriah and I have never seen eye-to-eye on the issue I have of putting others before myself.

"You want to fight with me about this here?" I say, raising one eyebrow at him.

"Yeah, why not!" Uriah begins to walk in a circle as he continues to lecture me.

"Why can't you see that you have a family in there, a family that is not better off without you! You sacrifice yourself time and time again and you don't realise what it does to the people you leave behind" He stops for a breath and begins again.

"Do you know what you did to Tobias when he woke to find you gone that day you left for Erudite?" He turned to face me this time. Waiting for an answer. I just looked away. I didn't want to think about this, I don't want to remember the day I walked around the corner to see Tobias standing at the end of the hallway with blood running down his face and Dauntless traitors standing on either side of him.

"Tris!" Uriah screamed at me. "You cannot walk through that fence and still expect it to be ok to sacrifice yourself because you think they will be better off, because they wont be." He lowers his voice and steps closer to me. "They lost you once, I watch Tobias when her realised he may have lost you for good that morning and…"

"You think he's still going to be in love with me?" I cut him off. "It's been two and a half ears Uriah, grow up." I try to blink the tears back into my mind. "We may have been locked up day in and day out for two years, only thinking of them." I stop to catch my breath and look at him. "Every morning I wake up thinking off him, every stimulation I was put through he was in it. They used my memories of him to help torture me!" I screamed at Uriah. I hated him when he did this. "I don't do this to you Uriah, I don't torture you with your actions" I say.

"Yeah, because I haven't actually had anything incredible stupid." That's true I think to myself.

"It still doesn't mean you get to do this to me." I say, hoping that he will feel a pinch of guilt and let us move on- but he doesn't.

"You just hate that I'm right, you hate that I am stating the truth" he is staring me right in the eyes now.

"Oh yeah?" I say. Crossing my arms. "And what is the truth" I say staring right back.

"That you would put yourself back in the hands of Panton if they threatened anyone on the inside of the city and if you really are prepared to do that." He lets out a sigh. "Then you may as well walk back to her now."

"Why is that stupid?" I say dropping my arms. "Why should they suffer just because my brain is stronger then they want it to be?"

"Why should they suffer losing you again Tris? when they can fight along side you and you be safe with them" Uriah says as he throws his hands up in the high.

I clench my hands into fists.

"And you wouldn't do the same to save your family if you had to?" I spite the words at him.

"No" He says loudly. "Because I hear their screams, I hear their sobs every night when I fall asleep! I know they will not be better off if I leave them again" His voice is becoming smaller now but his eyes are still tense. "And you Tris, you need to learn that you have the power to break people by leaving them. There is a difference between selfishness and being selfish." I let his words hang in the air for a few moments before looking up at him again.

Was I being selfish when I left Tobias asleep in bed that night? When I snuck behind his back and went with his father to find the information out from Jeanine? Am I being selfish right now, believing I can leave them all behind again if I can save them from another war?

When I finally look up at Uriah he is standing on his tiptoes with him neck stretched out as far as possible. I turn around and try and see whatever he is looking at.

"What is it?" I whisper to him.

"It's a truck" he's say. All anger from our conversation gone.


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you everyone for your reviews! Send me a message with anything you think I should improve on or any ideas you may have. 

As always, these lovely characters do not belong to me. They belong to the amazing Veronica Roth.

Enjoy chapter 3 - this may have been the hardest chapter to write, I had so many ideas for it and still worry I could have done so much better.

Uriah pulls me behind a tree and tells me to stay here while he sneaks up to see who's driving the truck. I watch him as he walks, crouched over like an old man with a bad back. I loose sight of him through the long grass and turn around to face the other way.

I try to swallow my anger. I hate having the stay behind and I hate that Uriah was right. Maybe I have been selfish with my life in the past, maybe I should go back to Panton and let her finish me, if I'm not prepared to stay by the side of the people I love. But maybe I am? Maybe I can put my safety first this time. Maybe I can forget that Panton will be setting a group of solders out to search for me and stay and fight against them with the people I love besides me instead of leaving them behind. Maybe I can be better.

It's not long after Uriah leaves that I hear footsteps coming towards the tree. I hold my breath as I lean around the side of the tree to see what's going on. As I do, my head collides into Uriah chest and I feel his whole body pressed against mine.

"What's going on?" My voice comes out muffled and then I feel Uriah's hand cover my mouth as he brings his lips towards my ear.

"Erudite soldiers" He says in a panic.

My whole body goes numb. No. They cannot catch us, no. We are too close to Bureau to be taken back now. I cannot go back to be tortured for however long I'm useful for and then let Panton kill me. I can't let it happen, and that when I knew. I knew I would not leave the people I loved behind again.

I can feel Uriah's heavy breathing on my neck, as he try's to slow it down. I place one of my hands over his heart and with one finger mimic the rhythm of his heartbeat. I'm not sure why or how I decided it would be a good idea but within moments his heartbeat had slowed and his breathing was back to normal.

We hear the truck go past us, it stops for a moment and we hear the door open.

"I'm telling you, I saw something" We both hear the high-pitched voice of a young women.

"Yeah and I'm telling you that you didn't, now get back in the truck I want to be back before dark." This time it's a man who spoke.

I glance up at Uriah, who has his head pressed up against the tree with his eyes shut. I've never seen this fearful side of him before, not even in the hallways of Erudite when we passed each other being taken to separate rooms to have new stimulations be tested on us.

We hear the door slam shut on the truck and it begins moving towards back in the direction it came from.

We both let out a sigh of relief as we continue to keep still for a few more moments.

After awhile Uriah steps back and peaks out to one side of the tree and see if the truck was still in our sights.

"All clear" He begins. "If I wasn't mistaken, I think you enjoyed being that close to me Tris" he says with all signs of fear gone from his face.

"Yeah, like I had a option. You pretty much threw yourself on me when you came around the tree" I say back teasing. I've never understood Uriah and mine relationship. We have been each other's comfort over the past twos. I feel completely relaxed with him, he knows every dark moment I've been through while in the walls of Erudite and I know his. We can switch from serious so complete fools in a moment but I don't know how this will display in front of our friends and families, if we ever reach them I think to myself.

"We need to go," I say as I step around the tree and begin to straight a head.

"We are going to have to get there soon, we can't take anymore chances with running into another truck of solders." Uriah says behind me.

"I know; I was secretly hoping it would be people from Bureau and we wouldn't have to walk the rest of the way." The words flow out of my mouth freely. For some reason I find it easy to show this type of weakness in front of Uriah.

"You and me both, I honestly am beginning to feel sick from looking at your leg Tris." He says with a laugh. But I know he is worried about the amount of blood I've lost and honestly so am I. My head feels dazed and I could fall over and not get back up any moment but I can't let the pain win. I continue on.

After awhile I begin to fall behind Uriah, he turns and takes one look at me.

"I'm fine" I try to sound convincingly but its not working.

"Come on," He says gently as he walks towards me and puts his arm around my waist and lets all my weight fall onto him.

"We don't have far to go I think" I say as I try to hide my relief. My leg had began to drag behind me and my entry upper body was hunched over my walking stick, which went from support my shoot leg to support my entire body weight.

"I hope so, I don't think you'll last the night out here Tris." Uriah says honestly as he lets his eyes dart to me for only a moment.

"I know, so we better move fast" I try to sound stronger but my body is exhausted and I have began to wince with every step we take.

"Oh and Uriah, Thank you" I try to sound as casual as possible so he doesn't make such a big deal out of it.

"Did I honestly just hear Tris Prior say Thank you? WOW I must be in shock." Uriah says with a loud laugh and then smiles down at me. "Anytime, I'm sure you'd try and support my weight if I was the one who got shot."

I smiled back at him; I enjoy the way he brushes all the important things off like they are nothing.

"I'd most likely fail," I say back to him. "Considering you weigh so much more then I do" I laugh to myself and then feel him to let me go for a moment before catching me again. I lift my walking stick up and hit him with it. We both laugh at each other, for a moment forgetting we are on the run and I'm losing more blood with every step we take.

- LineBreak -

The sun has begun to set behind the trees just as I begin to see the top of a building straight ahead of us.

"Look" I say and point to the buildings head. "Straight in front, the top of a building"

"I see it" Uriah says back to me.

A bolt of excitement and relief run through my body but it's followed with fear. What's going to happen when they see us? We aren't meant to be alive. Uriah begins to walk fast, almost pulling me along behind him. I clench my teeth together to stop any sign of weakness and begin to move my legs fast, ignoring any pain that comes. As we get closer I notice the amount of guards around the fence begins to grow.

"Lets hope they don't shoot us out of shock" I say dumbly to Uriah, but in all honesty I just needed to break the silence.

"Ha. Ha. Funny" He says.

Clearly this is the only moment Uriah can't come up with a stupid comment about a serious situation.

I swallow hard and look forward again, trying to see if I can recognize anyone. The gate begins to open and a tall dark man walks out holding a gun.

"Stand where you are" His voice is strong, naturally loud. "Place your hands behind your head and wait there." He orders. Just has he begins to walk towards I begin to feel the true affect of all the blood I've lost, my vision begins to darken.

"Get down on your knees" The man orders again.

Good, I can do that I think to myself. Maybe it will stop me from fainting. I hold my breath and clench my mouth shut as I drop to my knees but its not use, a low scream of pain gets out as I feel the intense sharpness of the wound ripping again from the impact.

"You good?" Uriah asks me.

"Yeah, fine" I say without looking at him.

My body is shaking and my vision is still dark around the edges, I don't have long until my body is taken over by the pain and weakness I've been ignoring for hours.

"Please state your name and your purpose of coming here," We are asked by the man.

Uriah looks over at me and I shrug my shoulders and begin to speak.

"My name is Tris Prior and this is Uriah Pedrad." I try my best to make my voice sound strong and stern but it still sounds shaky.

I hear yelling behind him. I look up and see the crowd begin to open up.

I look over to Uriah whose attention has been court by the same thing and turn my attention back to it as well. A man races out of the crowd first and stops in his track when he lays his eyes on us.

"Zeke" Uriah whispers to himself.

My mouth hangs open as more people begin to break through and fall still besides Zeke.

I can make out every face that is standing a few feet away from us. The last people to fall still beside them are my parents and Evelyn. Tobias mother, why is she out here?

Before I can take in anymore I feel the life being sucked out of my body and my vision go black. As if someone turned of the lights. I try to grab ahold of Uriah but its too late, my body goes limp, my arms fall down to the side of my body and I feel myself fall face first into the ground.

"Tris!" Uriah yells. "Oh Jesus, She's lost a lot of blood! You need to get her inside" I hear Uriah's frantic voice beside me as footsteps run towards us before I completely go under.


	4. Chapter 4

Ah! Thank you everyone who has given my story such kind reviews! I hope you enjoy the next chapter! X

Of cause, I don't own the Divergent story or the characters I just love to write about it

I feel my body swaying as I begin to open my eyes. I see Uriah face as he looks down at me with a smile.

"We've got this Tris, go on and do what you do best." He says

"And what would that be?" I manage to croak out before shutting my eyes again

"Passing out and leaving me to clean your mess up" I hear him say as he lets a laugh leave his lips freely as I let myself go again.

When I wake again I can see the moon sitting high in the night sky. I let out a groan as I roll over.

"Beatrice" I hear the soft voice of my mother.

"Mum" I could barely hear my own voice as I spoke, I cleared hit and was about to try again my mother had her arms around my neck hugging me.

"I'm so sorry for leaving you in there Beatrice" She says, as she try's to hold her sobs in.

"Like you had any choice, Panton would have killed you if you didn't go with her that day" I said as pulled her up so I could see her face.

"I love you mum," I say as the door opens and my farther walks in.

"Beatrice! You're awake!" His voice holds so much emotion in it, but he makes sure it doesn't reach his eyes.

"Dad" I whisper and we embrace in a hug as he sits down on the bed besides me.

"How are you feeling darling?" My mother asks me as she touches my leg.

"I feel good, actually I can't feel anything from the waist down." I say to them as I lift to blanket to check my legs are still there. My parent's laugh, and my father open's his mouth to speak.

"At least we know the pain medicine works," My father says. I'm unsure if it's to my mother or me, but either way I smile and lean my head on his shoulders as I drift back to sleep.

The next time my eyes open, the first person I see is Uriah. I pull myself up.

"Haven't I seen enough of you over the past two years?" I say as I roll my eyes at him.

"Hey, I came to break the bad news to you" He begins in a very serious voice. My heartbeat jumps as I think of the thousand of things that could have happened over night.

Erudite solders breaking through the fence coming to drag us back.

"Yo Tris, seriously! All your attention has to be on me, you need to know what has happened" Uriah says as he takes a breath in. "The cake here, its not as good as the one they made at Dauntless." His face has broken out into a massive smile and he is trying to hold in a laugh but its not working.

"I hate you Uriah." I yell as I pick my pillow up from behind my back and hit it over his head. He stanches the pillow from my hand and begins hitting me with it lightly, I put my heads up over my head to try to stop the blows but its not use my body is heavy with pain medicine and all I manage to do it laugh.

"Sometimes Tris, your facial expressions are what make my day" He squeezes out through his laughter.

"Stop it, I need to go to the bathroom." I yell at him as I finally manage to grab the pillow from him and throw it to the floor.

I throw the covers to the side and swing my legs over the bed. My head feels dizzy with the sudden movement and I have to grab the side of the bed to steady myself.

"You alright?" Uriah asks as he places both hands on my shoulders.

"Yeah fine, just got up to fast I guess," I say as I continue to push myself up and move towards to bathroom door.

"Ill head down and get you something to eat." He says,

"Thanks" I say as I close the bathroom door.

I look at myself in the mirror. My hair hangs long on both sides of my face; I run my fingers through it as I try to get some of the knots out of it. I turn around a notice a pile of clean clothes that are on a shelve next to the shower. I look down at what I'm wearing, the same black pants and grey T-shirt I was wearing when Uriah and I broke out of Erudite, however my pants have been ripped all the way up to my thigh in order for them to stitched up my bullet wound. So I decided I should most likely shower.

I stand under the hot water and let it massage the knots out of my shoulders. I run my hands over my thighs in order to get the dried blood off and watch as it turns the water red while it runs down my leg and into the drain below.

When I feel completely clean I lean against the wall and let my body slide down until I feel the ground beneath me and bring my legs up to my chest as I wrap my arms around them.

I rest my head on the top of my knees as I let the water rush over me. I watch as the water circles around and around before making it into the drain. I begin to remember the day I was dragged into the shower by two guards after a stimulation Panton had created just to be used on me. I remember the words she spoke to me clearly in my mind.

"I remember reviewing your fear land scape a few months ago and I noticed you had a few of intimacy?" She said to me as she walked towards me with a syringe.

It only took a moment for my vision to be taken over with a vision of a tall man with dark brown hair and green eyes to be standing in front of me. I tried to remind myself that it was real but his fingers on my skin felt real, his breath on my face and neck, his hands griping my forearms as he pressed my body against the cold stonewall. It was all too real.

I remember screaming for him to stop. Clawing at him, praying I could hurt him, but I couldn't. He and the situation were not real but the pain I felt throughout it was.

I snap my head up as I hear someone knock loudly on the door. I look down at my heads, they are wrapped around my ankles and I can notice the forming of small cuts from where my nails have dug a little to deeply.

"It wasn't real, it wasn't real." I repeat over and over to myself as I pull myself up and warp a towel around myself.

"I'll be out soon." I call to Uriah as I turn to face myself in the mirror again.

I dress slowly, admiring the amount of muscle I have manage to maintain while being held captive by Panton. When I look at myself again I remind myself of the girl who stood out to everyone the day I was ranked first at Dauntless initiation

I wear tight black pants and a low cut grey T-shirt, which shows of my 3 birds tattoo.

I dry my hair with the towel and with one last look at myself I walk out of the bathroom, leaving all evidence of my stimulation memories behind.

I see a tray of food on my bed and someone who is Uriah sitting next to it.

"Christina" Her name fell from my lips as I ran to close the gap between us.

"You really need to stop this whole almost dying thing," She says to me as she wraps her arms around my neck and hugs me tightly.

"Trust me, I didn't want to leave, I tried so hard to come back." I whisper into her hair, it smells of fresh soap and rain. "I didn't want t leave you guys." I feel a tear run down my face and when I pull back I notice Christina's cheeks are wet with tears also.

"I've missed you Tris." She says with so much emotion I feel she would break down completely right there.

"I missed you too," I say as I shit down beside her and begin to break apart a muffin.

We sit in silence for a while, I'm grateful for it because I honestly haven't thought about the things I would say to Christina. To be honest I never let myself think about getting this far, never letting myself get my hopes up is something I'd become good out of the past years.

Christina breaks the silence first.  
"Tobias wasn't here when you and Uriah were brought in, he has been helping out with training the under kids in combat skills…"

"Ahh." Is all I manage to get out.

So he doesn't even know I am here, that I am alive. He doesn't know Uriah and I have been kept against our will at Erudite and that we have been tortured everyday for two and a half years and my parents, oh god.

''Whose going to tell him?" I whisper to words.

"His mother, we all thought she would be the best person to break this news to him" She says softly as she turns her head to face mine.

"How much do you know?" I turn and ask her.

"Not much, I mean we all know that your parents are alive, you and Uriah never actually died when we thought you did… but we are still trying to work out how it actually happened" Her eyebrows pull together and she pushes her lips into a straight and hard line.

I don't mention the idea I have about how Panton manage to get us to come across as dead, it don't want to talk about my fake death. It's all I've been living for far to long. Thankfully I no longer need to try and change the subject because the door swings opened and I see my parents walk in who are closely followed by Evelyn.

"Christina, we are sorry but we need to speak to Tris privately" My father spoke, so gently and soft I almost have to ask him to repeat his words.

"Ok, I'll see you later Tris." Christina says with a wave as she walks out the door.

I sit up straighter and put down my muffin as I look up to all three of them. I feel like a child who has done the wrong thing and has been sent to the principal's office at school.

"Tris," I hear Evelyn speak my name and step forward. "Your parents have tried to fill in as much of the gaps as needed but well it may not surprise you that we are still very confused and also concerned with how this could have happened to you all."

"So you are here to find out my side of the story?" I say sternly, I didn't mean for the words to come out the way they did but even the idea of explain what has happened to me makes my hear race.

"Well, yes," Evelyn begins with a heavy sigh. "But we need you and Uriah to both do it under the truth serum." My head snaps up at her.

"You want us to do what!" I yell at her.

"Beatrice, don't raise you voice." My father speaks to me in a disapproval tone, I guess his Abnegation rules still runs within him. My mother steps in front of Evelyn and sinks down to my eye level.

"Beatrice, honey." She said slowly. I've never heard my mother call me honey before. "Your father and I did it when we first got here, the questions are difficult to answer but you can do this." Your voice is full of strength when she finishes; she thinks I can do this. She thinks because I got through the last 2 years that I can get through answer questions honestly without breaking, but I cant.

"You and Uriah will be asked to do it in 2 days, we all decided it would be best you both begin to feel comfortable before putting you under the influence of it."

Evelyn says as she steps to the right so I can see her.

"How thoughtful of you all." I say emotionless. "Is that all?" I ask finally looking at Evelyn.

"Well, no." she says as she crosses her arms across her chest. "My son, Tobias is back from training the younger children and I informed him in on the actions that have occurred within the last few weeks." Her voice is low and concerning but her eyes hold strong as she looks at me.

"Oh." Is all I say to her.

"He is waiting outside, if you wish for him to come in when we leave." I can't even answer, I can't think straight.

He knows I'm alive; he is waiting outside my door, waiting to see me? My heart begins to race and I can feel sweat building all over my body. I feel my mother kiss my forehead as they turn to exist the room. I hear my mother speak to someone as she closes the door.

"Be gentle, she's in as much shock as you" and with that I see Tobia walk into the room.


	5. Chapter 5

Ok, I'm sorry to this slow update! Life is getting in the way.  
Thank you for all the positive feedback! It means so much and makes my day whenever I receive a lovely review!

As always, I do not own Divergent – I just have a little too much fun writing about it.

ALSO – I am sorry for all my mistakes.

ENJOY!

He looks just like I remember, his square upper lip and full lower lip. His hooked nose and his eyes, so deep set that his eyelashes touch the skin under his eyebrows.  
"Tris?" My name leaves his mouth too fast. He steps forward towards me but at the last moment changes his mind and stays where he is. I look down at my feet as they hang over the bed, trying to think of something to say.

"I should go," I hear Tobias say as he looks towards the door. I don't say anything, I raise my head and watch as he turns and begins to walk back towards the door.

My heartbeat begins to race twice as fast and I feel tears building behind my eyes. I can't let him leave I can't lose him again.

"Beatrice.." Is all I manage to get out.

I'm not sure when I decided it would be a good idea too run towards him but its too late to stop. I run towards him and throw myself against his chest and wrap my arms around his neck as sobs escape out of me. I feel his a hands grab ahold of my T-shirt as he pulls me in closer to him.

"Beatrice." Is all I hear him say as I feel his lips brush against my hair.

"I didn't want to leave you." I whisper into him, "I didn't, I tried so hard to hold on but I couldn't." My voice breaks on my last words as another sob releases itself from my mouth.

"You're alive, I can't believe it, Its really you." I hear him say as he puts a hand under my chin and lifts my head up so his forehead rests on mine.

"All this time, you've been alive" His breathe hits my face and all I can smell is apples. I feel his thumb stroke my cheek as I open my eyes to look at him. His eyes look darker then I remember, his eyelashes wet from holding back his tears. I bring one hand around and place it on his cheek, goose bumps raise up my arm at the touch of him.

He leans his face into mine, closer the final gap that is between us and kisses me.

His lips pressed against mine for only a moment before pulling back and looking at me. I give a weak smile as I open my eyes and look back at him.

"Usually I wake up at this point." Tobias whispers as he rubs his nose against mine.

I let out a small laugh.

"I never actually thought I'd get to see you again, let alone be able to feel you against me." I whisper back before reaching up on my tiptoes and pressing my lips to his once more.

His mouth fits against mine easily; as if we've kept each other memorized all this time. As my lips push hard against his, I feel his one of hands run through my hair and gripping tightly into it. The other runs firmly down my back and resting on my hip as he grabs my T-shirt and twisting it into a ball in his fist.

I moan his name into his mouth as I grip my arms around his neck again and without thinking I bend my knees and push myself up and drape my legs around him, I wince at the sharp pain that shoots through my legs but I ignore it.

He moves and leans me against the wall so its holding most of my weight.  
My mind feels like it's moving at high speed. I'd never let myself picture the moment I'd see Tobias again but when the idea slipped into my mind for even a moment I never pictured our bodies being pushed against each other as if we are fighting to heal each other's wounds.

His lips are everywhere. They follow by jaw line down to my neck and back up until our lips find each other again.

"Tris." I hear Tobias breathes my name.  
A jolt of fear rushes through me. What if this isn't what he wants? Maybe he's coming to his sense and realises this shouldn't be happening like this but instead I feel him step back from the wall and step backwards until he falls onto my bed.

A laugh escapes through my lips as I push myself up onto my elbows and look down at him. His eyes still hold the same touch my kindness I'd always see in them but something is different. As if he lost something he could never completely live without and then it hits me. I am what he couldn't live without. I am the person who changed him. My death is what changed him. My fake death.

"I'm sorry you lost me." I say as I try and remember when I actually decided to say those words.

I feel Tobias hands on either side of my face his breath comes out staggered, as if he is holding in a sob.

"I've got you now and that's all I care about today." His mouth is back on mine and with that, I let everything go.

I am alive and Tobias still loves me. I couldn't ask for anything more.

XXX

When I wake, I feel Tobias arm wrapped tightly around me. I lean my head down closer to his hands and brush my lips against his fingertips and breathe in his scent, it still brings me comfort and in this very moment, I am safe in Tobias arms. I close my eyes and begin to settle back into Tobias chest as I hear a knock on my door.

"Beatrice?" I hear my mother say as she pushes open the door and sticks her head in.

I quickly pull myself up into a sitting position so she can see I'm fully clothed. Tobias is shaken awake by my movement and quickly jumps up when he notices my mother at the door.

"Mum... Hi." I swallow hard and feel the blood rush to my face. "This is ah, Tobias, Evelyn sons." I look up to Tobias and notice how long he hair has gotten and how easily messy it has become while we were asleep.  
"Hello again Tobias," My mother says as she walks forward towards my bed trying to hide the smile on her face. I look down at my hands and begin to lace my fingers together over and over again. It's a habit I picked up when I would be sitting in my room at Erudite waiting to be taken away for more stimulation tests. I feel the bed jostle and look up to find my mother sitting directly in front of me.

"How are you feeling darling?" She asks me as she lays a hand on top of mine.

"I feel fine." I say to quickly, I'm not sure how I'm supposed to act in a situation like this. Being walked in on by my mother while in bed with Tobias, even if we were only sleeping, its something Abnegation frowns upon.

"I should go." I hear Tobias say. I begin to say not to go but I hear my mother speak again.

"No, please stay, I wont be long and I don't want to be the reason for your leaving." My mother voice is soft as she looks at Tobias.

"Have you seen Uriah today?" She asks me.

"Not since this morning, he left to get me some breakfast but Christina was here waiting with it when I got out of the shower." I reply to her.

"Ok, that's probably for the best." My mother says nervously. Her eyes don't meet mine when she speaks and I can sense something bad has occurred while Tobias and I kept our selves locked away together.

"What's wrong? Is He ok?" My voice is full of panic and I can feel my heart beat in my ears.

"He is fine, Zeke informed him about something we discovered this morning." My mother lifts her head and looks deeply into my eyes.

"You see Tris, we found some videos." Her voice sounds heavy, as if is handing me something she knows I cant handle and maybe she's right.

"Videos of what mum?" My voice is to high and I clench my eyes together trying to force the tears back to where they came from. The images of security cameras on every wall, in every single room in Erudite flow into my mind. It can't be those videos.

"From the security system in Erudite, the videos of." But I cut my mother off.

"The videos that show Uriah and I being tortured for the past 2 years?" My voice is soft, but I feel the intensity within it and I guess my mother did as well because she drops her gaze and doesn't speak.

"How many?" I say

"They are still watching them, I felt like I was betraying you by watching them without your knowledge." My mother voice broke on the last few words and he eyes were classy from the tears she has been holding back. But I don't feel anything. My body feels heavy and out of place but at the same time I feel exposed. I imagine them watching me thrashing myself around trying to escape the holds of the solders that were there to drag me to the room on the top floor at the very end of the hallway. I remember the screams I would let out, pleading for them to take me back to my room and then I remember the unchanged look on their faces as they threw my onto the floor and locked the door behind me. These are my moments, moments that I wasn't ready to share; moments that I may never have wanted to share and people are watching them?

"You had no right!" I yelled at my mother as I pull my hand away. "What video made you stop watching mother?"

"That doesn't matter Beatrice." She pleads to me, her emotions have taken a toll of her and her face is wet with fresh tears.

"It matters to me, It matters that people I don't even know anymore are you sitting in front of a computer screen and watching moments of my life that know body has the right too know unless I tell them myself!" I get up and begin to hop around the room. My leg feels a lot worse now then it did this morning but I guess this morning activates would not have done it any good.

"Now tell me, what video made you stop watching?" I can tell by the look in her eyes that it's the very same memory I've been trying to forget everyday. My mother drops her gaze again and lets out a small sob. I look over her at Tobias who hasn't said I word since my mother told him to stay. His facial expressions are set like stone, not wanting to show any type of emotion as he eyes meet mine and I quickly look away before I begin to break.

"Mother?" I say again. "What video?"

She stands and moves closer towards me and places her hands on my shoulders.

"It's was the video of you being dragged away to a room on the top floor of the Erudite compound, I walked out when I saw what the man was about to do." Her voice was so soft and so broken she couldn't look at me.

I hold my gaze at the top of her head and take a deep breathe as I prepare myself for the next words to leave my mouth.

"Please leave." I speak the words hard and sharp, hoping to hide all emotion from her. She see's me differently. I am her daughter and I she believes I have been hurt in away know body can fix.

"If that is what you want, I will be here when you need me. I love you." My mother says in my ear as she hugs me quickly and begins to walk towards the door.

I sink to my knees and coverer my face with my hands. I hear Tobias footsteps walk towards me and hear the muffle sounds of his body against the floor as he sits down in front of me.

"Tell me what happened Tris." His voice sounds heavy and demanding but he doesn't hide his hesitance very well.

I keep my hands over my face as I slow my breathing down. I imagine myself opening my mouth and telling Tobias what happened, explaining to him that only half what he is imagining is true but when I let my hands fall down and look at him all I can do is sob.  
Tobias wraps his arms around me and pulls me into his lap as I bury my face into his chest. His hands run over and over the top of my head as he waits for my sobs to end.

"Panton, she would put Uriah and I through our fear landscapes over and over again until we would finally get over a fear." My breath comes out in jolts as I try to settle myself down. "She discovered I no longer has a fear for intimacy so she tried to recreate me fear. She would take me to a room at the very top of Erudite and leave me in they're alone for hours until a man much older than me would come in and begin to attack me, forcing himself on me." I don't really remember thinking about telling Tobias, the words just began to spill out of my like verbal vomit. I don't know if I want to continue, but I need to.  
"He never did anything to me, he just tortured me with the idea that he could do something. Panton placed the fear back into my mind by torturing me with it and then began to torture me with by created a stimulation in which enforced the fear as well." I paused and took a breath. "She continued until the fear was back in my fear landscape, I'm not sure why it was so important for her to see me have that fear but she got her wish." When I finally finish talking I just sat in Tobias lap and begin to lace my fingers together over and over until Tobias cups my hands over mine and brings his lips to my ear and whispers.  
"I know you, and I know you wont ever want me to make a big deal out of this situation but," He draws a breath in and continues, "Thank you for that."

"For what? Being honest?" I let out a shaky laugh and push myself up and turn around to look at him "You still love me after 2 years of thinking I was dead, and I think you deserve the truth." Tobias smiles at me as he pushes himself up and takes me into his arms again.

XXXX

I tried hard to convince Tobias that it would be best for me to stay in my room until tomorrow morning but I somehow lost the debate after he stated that I've been dead to everyone for 2 years and I will continue being dead until I walk through my doors and walk the halls towards to dinner room.

Tobias grabs my hand as he pulls me out of my room. My hands are covered in sweat and I can feel my breathing begin to pick up as I look around me to see people stopping to stare as I walk by. I keep looking straight a head as I try my hardest to ignore the confused and angry looks.  
Why do they angry? I haven't done anything to them personally? What reason do that have to be mad?

"Why do they all look angry?" I say softly to Tobias.  
"You've basically risen from the dead, they all want answer I suppose." Tobias says. I don't believe that, my stomach is turning. Something is wrong. Before I can give it anymore thought I find myself opening the dining room doors.  
A cool wind hits my face from the two windows at the opposite side of the room over looking the garden, as the smell of freshly cooked food finds it way to my nose. I look around my room, some people have stopped to stare but others continue to eat their meals, not worried to raise their heads. I don't realise who I'm searching for until my eyes meet with his, Caleb. He begins to move his chair back and get up, but he must see the look on my face and changes his mind because he settles back into his chair and turns to continue the conversation be carried out at the table.

"Sorry, I didn't think about him." I hear Tobias say as he pulls me together towards the food line.  
"Don't be, I want to speak to him but in front of everyone in the dinning hall isn't the best place." I say as I grab a piece of chicken from a pan.

Tobias leads the way to an empty table in the back corner. I breathe a sigh of relief knowing we will be alone; the idea of more blank and confused stares makes me want to throw up.

"So," I begin to say as Tobias shoves a piece of bread into his mouth and I can't help but laugh at him. He turns to me and try's to talk but all I hear are muffles and I laugh again, he somehow manages to swallow all of the bread and turns to me with a smile.

"So" He says to me with a smile.

"What do you do here?" I say curiously.

"I do patrols and just as off a few months ago I began helping out with training the younger kids in their combat skills." He picks up his cup and takes a sip as I silently wait for more; he couldn't expect me to think he has just been doing patrols for 2 years? But he doesn't continue.

"That's it?" I ask a little too forcefully as I turn away and look at my dinner, I'm not sure why I feel annoyed at his answer.

"I would go into Abnegation from time to time, my family home is still empty so I would go and stay there for a day or so and then come back here." He says and I snap my head around when I hear the word Abnegation.

"And the people in charged here didn't mind?" I ask.

"My mother is basically in charge lately so no one can really do anything even if they wanted to stop me." His voice is low and hard as he looks down and begins to poke his chicken over and over again with his fork.

"And by the looks of you, you aren't over the moon about her being in charge?" I say as I place one hand on his lap.

"Nope, but I will explain why later, looks like we are going to have some company for dinner." He says quickly.

A moment later I hear chairs being pushed out and see Zeke and Uriah's smiling faces in front of me.

"Tris!" Zeke says, with a little too much excitement.

I don't even brother trying to match his excitement and reply with a simply,

"Yep." Popping the p at the end.

"What's been happening? I feel like I haven't seen you in at least 2 years" His smiles at me and I cant help but let a laugh fall from my lips.

"That long? Wow how time fly's." I say back with a smile.

I find it easier to make calm and relaxed comments like this after only having Uriah as a friend for the past 2 years. I guess some of his positive and relaxed nature as rubbed off on me.

"You make jokes now? Wow its true what people say, time does change a person." Zeke teases again and this time Uriah and I both cant help but laugh. I'm not sure where this laughter has come from, but it comes from somewhere dark inside both of us. Somewhere that laughs at the actions that caused the changes within us. Changes that we haven't even had time to realise.

"So, you herd about the incident that occurred today Tris?" Uriah asks me as I feel his foot nudge my leg underneath the table trying to get my attention.

"The incident with them casually gaining every video of us in Erudite? Yeah I herd." I say coldly as I look at him.

"I don't get how they have only seen these videos now? I mean why don't they use the cameras as a way to watch the experiment?" Uriah voice comes out slow and tired, "and they expect us to be ok with being put under the truth serum? I mean haven't we had enough serums being injected into us?" His voice is becoming louder and I can feel his anger building up inside of him because it's building the same way inside of me.

"Wait… What?" Tobias turns to me, shocked. "They're putting you under the truth serum?"

"Yes, that is what your mother spoke to me about before you came in." I say casually, as if the news doesn't worry me.

"When?"

"Day after next, she wanted us to feel comfortable when she makes us spill our guts about the last 2 years." Uriah answers Tobias question and begins to eat his dinner.

"Why didn't you tell me about the truth serum?" Tobias turns as asks me.

"I'll tell you later." I say to fast as I turn my attention back to my dinner. I can feel Tobias eyes burning into me but I cant tell him why I forgot about the truth serum in front of Zeke and Uriah; they will never let me forget it.

I lean back on my chair as I watch Zeke, Uriah and Tobias throw insult after insult at each other and hearing their laughter grow more and more. I am too wrapped up in the moment that I don't even notice Caleb standing next to me and begins to speak.

"Can we talk? Privately." He says quietly towards me.

"Sure, I'll see you guys later OK?" I say to them as I push my chair out and get up to follow Caleb outside.


	6. Chapter 6

Another chapter done!  
I'm sorry for being so slow with my last few updates - life has been crazy.  
Also, sorry for any mistakes – I've read over this a few times but I still don't pick up all of the mistakes.

Thank you to everyone who has been so lovely and to leave amazing reviews! It means a lot and helps me to stay motivated in writing this story!

I don't own Divergent

So thank you and enjoy!

I follow Caleb outside until he stops behind a tree and sits down at the base of it and I do the same.

"What did you want to talk about?" I ask him as I begin to pick small pieces of grass from the ground.

"Nothing in particular, I just wanted to speak to my sister who has been dead for 2 years!" He words come out slow but there is a hint of anger behind them that he can't completely manage to hide.

"Are you angry that I am alive?" I ask him.

"No, I am happy you are alive, things weren't lasting long without you being around…" Caleb says as he looks out beyond the field in front of us, as if he is searching for something.  
"It just doesn't make sense, I saw your body Tris I saw your dead body laying on the floor in a pool of your own blood." He throws his hands up and covers his face.

I look at him, trying to make out the expression of his face, but I can't. He thirst for knowledge still runs deep inside of him and the questions that must be bubbling up inside of him would be driving him insane. I might have the answers that he needs but my gut is screaming at me to walk away from him, to walk away and hide every bit of helpful information from him and everyone else who seem to find it frustrating that I'm alive.

My mind suddenly snaps back to the comment Caleb just made, _things weren't lasting without you…_

"What did you mean by things not lasting without me?" I say, trying to sound casual about it.

"Why do you think Tobias got sent out to train the younger kids and Christina running patrols every second of the day? Zeke and Tobias couldn't even look at each other for months after Uriah died and Evelyn became more and more obsessed with the idea of becoming the leader of Bureau." All his comments come rushing out of him before I can even rap my head about what he is saying. I accepted a long time ago that my death would have changed the people I loved, but facing it now and realizing that they were changed in away that I would never truly understand.

"And what about you Caleb?" I ask gently.

"Me?" He asks turning to face me. I nod quickly. "I was the brother who let his sister run off to die while I stood frozen in a hall way." His voice breaks on the last word and I look away, I don't want to see him upset. "You can't even look at me! You don't understand how horrible your actions where that day Beatrice" He spite my name out like its poison. "You left believing you could survive the attack, that's why you took my place and I believed that if anyone would have survived the death serum it would be you but then they shot you and you die! You just gave up and left everyone behind! You didn't even try to fight whatever they did to you when we went to see your body for the last time! You did nothing! You just died and left us all behind to tend to our wounds." I don't think he realised how loud he was actually yelling because when he stops his face is a light shade of red and he looks around us as if to make sure know body over herd what was said.

I take a deep breath and burying all emotion deep down inside of me before I begin to speak.

"You were going to die out of guilt Caleb, you weren't dying out of love." I say my words slowly and take another deep breath. "Me, mum and dad, we all put our lives in front of the people we loved the most but you… You didn't understand that, you didn't understand that dying out of guilt isn't the same as dying in order to save the people you love. Because saving the people you love the most, is more important than saving yourself." I get up and begin to walk away, feeling the ball of emotion trying to push it self to the surface. I hear Caleb call out behind me to come back, but I don't. Two years have passed and my brother is still the same Erudite whose thirst for knowledge out weights everything else in his life.

I begin to walk back towards the dinning hall but realise that isn't where I want to be, I don't want to sit and talk casual to people, I don't want to pretend that I'm not fighting a black ball of pure anger inside of me. I follow a dirt bath right down to the rows of apple trees and walk between them until I feel as though I'm hidden away from everyone again. I lie down on the grass and look up at the sky; its late afternoon now and the sun has began to disappear behind the trees, causing the sky to become a golden pinky colour. I let my body relax for a moment as I breathe in the fresh smell of apples that surround me.

"Taking a small break form reality?" I hear someone say to me.

As I open my eyes and pop myself up onto my elbows I see that it's Uriah, a smile breaks out across my face and realise that at this very point he is the only person I want to see.

"Something like that." I say back to him and pat my hand on the grass beside me offering him to join me and he does. We lay together silently for a while until I break the silence,

"My brother still values knowledge over everything else important in his life, even the news of his sister not actually being dead for over two years." The words escape my lips with more anger behind them than I had expected.

"So he's an idiot, didn't you know that Tris?" Uriah points out.

"Clearly!" I say a little to sharply, "I just, I hoped that maybe over time he would have discovered why I did it and how it was different from why he was going to do it." My voice is low when I finish my sentence and I place my hands over my face trying to hide myself from what I've just said. "I placed my life in front of his and the only thing he cares about is the fact that we haven't handed him the information about how it was done."

"Erudite until the very end.' Uriah says besides me, "My mum hasn't stopped crying you know that? I mean zeke just kept hugging me for hours and my sister was so scared and confused that she just sat and stared at me for a whole hour before coming and talking to me… But my mum she just keeps crying and telling me how grateful she is that I'm alive, She hasn't asked any questions… she doesn't want to know how it could be possible that I've survived and she doesn't even ask what happened in there." He gets up and begins to walk in a circle around me. "How am I meant to sit in front of my family and a hundred people I don't know and spill my guts about what happened to me in there? I don't want them to know I would be locked in my room for days on end as my body was filled with a fear serum that had me relieve the moments of being paralyzed in the hospital bed as everybody I new came and said their goodbyes! I don't want them to know we would fight each other to a bloody plop because if we didn't we would be placed back into a fear landscapes for days on end! I don't want them to know I could have killed you so easily when we would fight, because if you died I wouldn't have to be faced with seeing your face the next day and know that every bruise on your body was made from me!" His yells were growing louder by the second, every word he spoke his foot steps would become heavier and his hand movements becoming more and more intense as his fingers curled into claws and he dug them into his hair and fell to his knees as a sob fell from the deepest and darkest part inside of him. "I don't want them to know that I'm fighting a monster inside of me and I don't know how much more I can take." His finally words come out in the smallest sob I could have imagined, his body was beaten everyday we were at Erudite and his mind has been continuously trying to fight away the memories that have been placed there. He's trying to be the same person everyone remembers and forget person he was while inside Erudite, I understand that because … I am that. I am a person who wants to fill the wound that opened up in the people I loved when they lost me but I am not that same person, there's too much hidden within me that continues to creep up inside me and threaten to burst out.

"We can fight the truth serum Uriah, you know that right? We can change only the answer to what we want them to know and they wont see the difference." I say gentle to him as I look back to the sky, we both know to let each other be when we let a section of our emotions over rule everything else.

"That's the thing..." I hear him say, "I just don't know if I want to lie about it, maybe we should tell the truth about what happened. I mean they've already seen the videos so if we do lie they would be able to tell that we are, right?" He presents the question to me in such a way that makes me want to put my hands around him and just hug him until he's ok again, but he's never going to be ok.

"I know you want me to say no, to tell you they couldn't possible have seen everything that happened to us in there… but I'm not going to." I close my eyes and breath through my nose as I hear the wind begin to pick up in the distance and ready myself to embrace the cold chill that will nip at my exposed skin as it rushes over me.  
"They know the truth and they're going to know if we lie." I say to him.

Uriah doesn't say anything back; he just lies back down next to me and looks at the sky as well.

"TRIS! URIAH! COMEON GUYS, WHERE ARE YOU?" We hear someone, Christina, maybe? Yell off in the distance

"They're getting closer." Uriah says besides me. I let out a small laugh, they have been looking for over 20 minutes now and somehow they still haven't discovered the two once dead teenagers laying in the middle of a row in the apple tree crops.  
"Do you think we should try to give them a hint?" I say back to Uriah as we hear another voice yell out for us.

"I kind of do feel a little bad having them freaking out." But before Uriah finishes, Christina cuts him of.

"And so you should feel bad! We've been looking for you two for hours!" She screeches at us like a mother at a naughty child. I can't help but laugh and Uriah joins in.

"Calm down, it hasn't been hours its been 3o minutes tops?" I say to her as she walks closer to us. The sun is almost gone and I can just begin to see the stars come out. I look at Christina, her hairs longer then I remember and her nose is red from the cold wind.

"What are you guys even doing?" She asks us as she looks around.

"Just enjoying the sky." Uriah said in a sappy voice and pats the grass besides him and I watch Christina fall beside him and lay her head on his stomach.

"We really should yell out to the others." Christina says quietly to us.

"It's more fun this way." I hear myself say before even realising it.

"Fun?" I hear her say back to me. "And when did you become so involved in fun Tris?" I can hear the laughter in her voice, but her question sticks to me, when did I become so interested in something so stupid as a game of hide and seek that the others don't even know they are evolved in? I thought gets cut short when I hear Tobias voice.  
"TRIS! URAIH! IF YOU GUYS ARE HIDING SOMEPLACE STUPID IM GOING TO…. Seriously?" He says all tension from voice is gone when he realises we are safe. "You couldn't find a better place to hide than in the middle of apple tree rows?" He continues as he walks towards us. I push myself up on my elbows and smile at him as he positions himself next to me.

"Who else are we waiting for?" I ask him as I reach for his hand.

"Just Zeke, he shouldn't take much longer to find us." Tobias said as he places a hand behind his head and entwines his fingers with mine and squeezes them tightly as he looks across to me with a smile just touching the side of his lips.

"URIAH IF YOU DON'T TELL ME WHERE YOU ARE IM GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS AND TELL EVERYONE YOU PISSED THE BED WHEN YOU WERE 9…. OOPS SORRY THAT JUST SLIPPED OUT! BUT YOU BETTER COME OUT FROM WHEREEVER YOU ARE!" we all hear Zekes threating words and crack up laughing.

"Aw, man." Uriah sighs and begins to laugh with us.

Tobias is right; it doesn't take long for Zeke to find us rolling around laughing as we all take turns in making fun of Uriah. Zeke lies down next to Christina without even commenting on how odd this must look.

"How long have you guys been here?" Christina asks us.

"I followed Tris down here after her conversation with Caleb, so maybe an hour." He says with a shrug of his shoulders.

"How did that conversation go Tris?" I hear Zeke say.

"Still an Erudite idiot." I say far to quickly. I feel Tobias eyes on me after that comment but I don't make eye contact with him, if I do, I know I will fall… I will let everything escape me and I can't break down… not yet.

"That sucks, I'm sorry," Zeke says a little softly for me to hear, so I pretend to ignore it.

We all fall silent as we look up at the night sky. I notice Uriah running his fingers through Christina's hair and watch as a smile spread across her face. I remember how close they had become when we first got to Bureau but she always said it was just the fact that they both lost someone close to them.

"A rabbit just to the left." I hear Zeke call out as he points to the sky. We all begin searching for the rabbit but only end up laughing at each other's comments as we struggle to find it.

"If you were making it up Zeke, I just don't understand why you decided to go with a rabbit?" Tobias said between a laugh.

"Hey man, I really did see a rabbit… it just stopped looking like one when I told you guys." Zeke says back lightly and laughs at himself.

The moon is completely raised in the sky, when Christina mentions that we should probably get back before someone notices we are gone. Zeke and Christina get up first, followed by Uriah, Tobias and I, I stretch my leg out as I lean against Tobias for balance.

"Need a piggy back?" Tobias said with a smirk, teasing me.

"Is that a real offer? Because if it is I'm going to say yes." I tease back as I step around him and jump onto his back. His hands catch the bottom side of my thighs as I wrap my legs around him.

Tobias falls behind as Zeke, Uriah and Christina run ahead as they try to tackle one another along the way. I laugh lightly to myself and I turn my head and kiss Tobias gently on the neck as I breathe in his sent, realising that this is how life was supposed to be like… if the war never happened.


	7. Chapter 7

Ah, here we go again… Another chapter  
I am sorry I don't update as often as you would all like, but I try to take time writing my chapters. I know they aren't the greatest but I try to fit in as much as I can into a chapter before uploading it.

Thank you all again for your amazing reviews! I honestly cannot explain how amazing the positive feedback makes me feel, so thank you

Enjoy!

Oh yes, I don't own the divergent series

I wake to the sound of the bathroom door opening and look over to see Tobias walking out with his hair glistering in the sunlight from his shower.

"Morning." My voice comes out dry and rough and I reach for the glass of water sitting beside Tobias bed.

"How'd you sleep?" He says as he makes his way towards me.

"Good, still getting use to waking up to unlocked doors and windows though…" I say with a small laugh and quickly drink the last of the water as I try to ignore the forced smile on Tobias face.

I drop my gaze and look at his hand resting against my knee.

"I'm sorry, my humor isn't really funny." I say as I cover his hand with mine.

"Don't be sorry, just don't ignore the pain Tris." He says as he grips my chin with his free hand and looks sternly into my eyes. "Do whatever you need to do to be ok, but just remember you wont actually BE ok until you acknowledge the pain and anger that you keep swallow back." I watch as he eyes become gently as he tells me to be ok and the way his lips turn downward at the words _pain and anger._ I think back to yesterday when I told my mother to get out of my room when she came to tell me Evelyn had people watching footage of Uriah and I from Erudite, I spoke to her out of anger that isn't meant for her. I didn't realise Tobias had been watching me so intensely the last few days or maybe he still simply just understands me.

"Tris?" Tobias said, as he waves a hand in front of my face, as he try's to regain my focus. I force a smile as I look back at him.

"Thank you." I simply say to him as I lean in and kiss him quickly.

"For what?" He asks as he grabs my face gently and pulls me back in for another kiss.

"For understanding me when I don't even understand myself." I say quietly as I lean against his chest. I hear Tobias laugh gently against me ear as he moves to kiss the top of my head.

"I try my best." I hear him say so gently, as though he was saying it to himself.

"Breakfast?" Tobias asks me as he gets up to throw his wet towel in the hamper.

Yeah, but I'm going to go back to my room and shower first so I can just meant you in the dinning hall or see you a little later or something?" I say to him as I get out of bed and cross the room towards him. He opens his arms up to me and I slide my arms around his waist and breathe in the scent from his clothes.

"I'll come and find you before…. lunch time." Tobias says hesitantly.  
At 2pm Uriah and I will be taken and placed under the truth serum.

"Yeah, before lunch time would be nice." I say to him with a small forced smile, kissing him softly on the cheek as I turn and walk towards the door.

XXX

As I walk out of the bathroom I see my mother sitting on the end of my bed.

"Beatrice…" she says as she rushes over towards me. I opening my arms as I feel my mother's warmth radiates of her skin and over me, it brings a smile to my face.

"I'm sorry about yesterday, I wasn't anger at you..." I try to say more but my mother cuts me off.

"I understand Beatrice, you had every right to be mad but I'm here to tell you that Evelyn has decided to move up the interrogation from this afternoon to this morning." Her hands stroke over my hair as delivers the news to me.

"What made her change the time?" I ask my mother.

"I'm not sure Beatrice, but I believe she has something else planned for this afternoon." Her voice is soft but her eyes are wide opened and filled with concern.

I look down at my bare feet and let a single tear fall from my eyes are I try to push back the feeling that I felt everyday at Erudite. The feeling of complete hopelessness of knowing you are about to be pushed to your limits in front of someone who feeds from your fear and only cares about gaining the information needed. I hear a knock on my door and I break away from my mothers embrace as I make my way towards the door.

"Evelyn." I say numbing as I cross my hands across my chest.

"Beatrice." She replies in the same numb tone. "I'm here to walk you to the Function room." Her face breaks out into a smile as she finishes her sentence.

"Let me just get my shoes." I say as I turn around and glace up at my mother as I walk towards my bed and begin to pull my shoes on.

My mother sits down besides and places a hand on my shoulder.

"You'll be ok, I'll be right there if you need me." My mother whispers into my ear as I finish lacing up my shoe.

"I love you mum." I say quietly as I push myself up from the bed and make my way back towards Evelyn.

I follow Evelyn; down a long dark narrow hallway the only light comes from two light bulbs that flicker every few moments.

"Well this is nice." I say sarcastically to Evelyn as the lights flicker again.

"Yes, well this way we can inject you with the truth serum in private without having the audience watching." Evelyn says as she stops in front of a door with A234 written on it.

"Why don't you want the people to see you inject me with the serum?" I ask as she turns and faces me.  
"I am just trying to be nice and let you have some privacy in this matter Tris." She says with a forced smile.

Something isn't right about this, my body is screaming at me to run from Evelyn and this entire situation but I don't.

"I don't think its privacy that I need." I say as I lean against the wall. "I'd prefer to get the needle injected in front of everyone." I say simply.

"Ok, come on then" Evelyn places a hand on my shoulder and pushes me forward into the room.

I walk through the doors and stop; I automatically begin to search through all the unfamiliar faces for Tobias. He has to be here, someone would have told him about Evelyn changing the time or maybe she changed the time so he wouldn't be he for it. Evelyn grabs my arm again and pulls me sideways and I stubble slightly as we make our way towards the stage at the front of the room. I look up and see that there are two chairs seating side by side.

"Why are there two chairs?" I ask Evelyn over the loud chatter that fills the room.

"You and Uriah will be put under the serum together." She says bluntly.  
I don't brother asking anything else; I just stand and watch as the room fills up with people. People that I don't even know, people who are here to watch Uriah and I be put under the truth serum and asked to spill our deepest secrets to them.

"Tris!" I hear Uriah familiar voice from behind me. I turn to him with a smile on my face.

"We are very popular." I say to him with a smirk as I look back to the crowd of people.

"Well, I lets face it" Uriah says as he comes up behind me and puts an arm around me and draws me into this side. "I think they are actually here to just see me… You know? Considering I'm new fresh meat for all the ladies." He finishes as he begins to wave at the girls sitting close to the stage. I can't help but crack up laughing at him. This is what I love about Uriah; he can make me forget I'm about to go through something horrible… even if it's only for a moment.

"Tris Uriah, please take a seat." I hear Evelyn say behind us.

We both turn and make our way to the two wooden sits that have been placed in the certain of the stage, side by side. I watch as Evelyn opens to black box and takes out one syringe and walks towards Uriah, who already has his head tilted to the side ready for the injection. I feel Uriah warm hand wrap it self around mine as Evelyn pulls the syringe from his neck and places it inside the black box and pulls out a new one. My one. I flip my hair to the side and tilt my head just as Uriah did; showing her and the crowd how natural this situation is to us now.

It only takes a moment for the affects of the truth serum to over take me. My body feels heavy against the chair, my left arm grips the armrest of my seat and my right hand is still wrapped tightly in Uriah hand and for a moment I think of how thankful I am for having Uriah here with me. My mind suddenly goes quiet and all I can hear Uriah breathing begin to pick up and I turn my head and see that he's hunched over himself with his eyes squeezed shut. I bring my thumb and finger together in his palm and gently pinch him to get his attention, it works – his eyes open slowly and he looks at me from the corner of his eye, I give him a small smile and lean into him and whisper.

"I'll try to do most of the talking." I hear him let out a small sign of relief. I forgot how much Uriah hated being placed under the truth serum, being serious isn't something he likes to do and for a good reason.

I hear Evelyn being to hush the crowd and turn my attention away from Uriah and back onto her. She looks down at me, her eyes borrowing into mine as I try to fight against the serum.

"Please state you names, one at a time." Evelyn asks.

"Uriah Pedrad" Uriah voice comes out low and heavy.

"Beatrice Prior" I say, as look straight out onto the back wall of the room. I will not hunch over myself and answer questions desperately in front of all these people, I am no longer the 16 year old girl who didn't think through her actions and believed saving everyone else meant running of Erudite to be killed. No, I am not that young fresh to life 16 year old anymore. I am Tris, I am stronger, I am smarter, I am older and I am also very good at taking on power driven women like Evelyn Eaton.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8!  
I'm not sure why but is I struggled with this chapter, I'm not sure how I feel about it but I hope you are all still enjoying my story! PM if you have any questions or ideas.**

Enjoy  
I don't own divergent. 

"But you do go by another name, don't you Beatrice?" Evelyn's words break through my thoughts and I sift my eyes to her and notice that her head is tilted slightly to the left and her hands are clamped together in front of her stomach.

"Yes, Tris." I say bluntly as my eyes fall back onto the back wall.

"Why did you decide to be called Tris?" She asks me.

"Because I didn't feel Beatrice would buy me any points during the Dauntless initiation." I reply to her, trying to hide the small smile that leaguers at the edge of my lips.

"But it seems you were the most important out of everyone throughout your initiation."  
I let out a short laugh. "I wouldn't look at it like that."

"And why is that?"

"Because they didn't get anything from me, they only learnt what stimulations I could control."

"And they were?"  
"We were placed under every single stimulation that is known to us." I hear Uriah speak for the first time since being asked his name. He lifts his head up and looks Evelyn straight on, I can feel sweat building up on his palm as he clenches onto my hand tighter.

"Panton would test our reactions to each stimulation and note how long it took us to realise we were in fact in a stimulation." I say as clearly as possible. My head pounds with the intensity of the truth serum; I haven't been put under this serum for about a year and a half and my body isn't use to this kind of achiness. My muscles aches from holding myself up, I fight the urge to clench my eyes shut and my neck screams at me to bow my head and rest it on my free hand… but I cant, I wont be weak.

"How long did you normally take to realise you were in the stimulations?"

"We were never told our times." I spite the words out. Something is wrong; she is asking all the wrong questions. Why does she want to know how long it took us to get out of a stimulation? Why does it matter why I prefer to be called Tris and not Beatrice?

_Wait, what was I saying? …. _My mind falls blank and I can't hold my head up any longer, I let it fall against my hand heavy and hard. It almost reminds me of holding a gun for the first time, how hard and heavy is once felt in my small hands.

"Why did you take Caleb's place the day you were shot by David Tris?" The question takes me of guard. David? Why hadn't I seen him since coming here? Is he still here? Did they kill him after they discovered he shot me? Is he working with Panton? My mind becomes fuzzy as a thousand questions buzzing through my mind, but I need to stay focused on the issues that are in front of me, and that is Evelyn.

"Because he was doing it out of guilt." I say softly.

"Why?" I'm asked again.

"Because he thought by sacrificing himself, it would gain him forgiveness for his actions during the war against Erudite."

"Forgiveness from who?"

"Me" I say as I roll my head forward so my forehead is resting in the palm of my hands.

"But you took his place at the last moment, why?"

"Because he couldn't do it, he didn't understand that scarifying your own life for others isn't meant to be done out of guilt or anger, its meant to be out of love… placing the lives of the ones you love before your own in order to save them." I say the words slowly as I raise my head and my eyes catch Tobias's. I take a deep breath in as I feel my heartbeat pick up, we've hardly spoken about anything that happened on my last day here or what has happened with us both afterwards…

"So you took your brother place because you knew his actions weren't coming from the right place and you couldn't live with that?" Evelyn steps in front of me, blocking my view of Tobias.

"No!" I snap, my eyes pull shut again as I try to workout the right words to explain this, my mind feels like mush as I search through it searching for the right words. "I had guilt… guilt from killing Will, guilt from watching my parents die and not doing anything, guilt for seeing innocent people die because of people who were divergent."

"You mean, genetically pure." Evelyn says as she steps to the side and opens my view back up to Tobias. He stands tall as he leans his back against the back wall, he arms are folded across his chest and his eyebrows are pulled together making his expression hard as his eyes dive into mine.

I hear Uriah scoff at Evelyn and say "Right, genetically pure or whatever." Under his breathe.

"The point is, I learnt. I learnt the difference from throwing my life away to actually sacrificing it for the people I love, and Caleb didn't understand that." I spite my words at Evelyn, never letting my eyes leave Tobias.

"How very Abnegation of you." I hear her say.  
I feel Uriah move beside me and I can see from the corner of my eyes that he has pulled himself up and begins leans his head over towards me and rests it on my shoulder.

"You don't mind T-diz?" He says tiredly as he closes his eyes again. I let out a laugh and just look back to Evelyn. I can see the confusion in her eyes as she looks back and forth at Uriah and I and I feel a pinch of guilt in my stomach as I look back towards Tobias.  
His stance hasn't changed but he's eyes don't meet mine this time, they are locked on Uriah and his head on my shoulder. 3 years ago I would have shied away from any form of psychical contact like this in front of a large group of people, but I don't experience that with Uriah anymore. Our friendship has grown deeper over the years and I've seen every side of him and he has seen all of mine, there's something comforting in that and it's created a bond between us that I can't explain, even to myself.

"Uriah, can you explain what happened the day you were put on a coma?"

"There was an explosion and I was in the wrong place at the wrong time I guess." He replies softly.

"Were you in a coma or do you have any memories about what happened after that?" Evelyn asks, pressing for more information. I hear Uriah sigh and tighten his grip around my hand. These are our worse memories, hearing the people we love say their goodbyes as we lay paralyzed on a table unable to do anything but listen.

"I have memories." Uriah says bluntly without opening his eyes. Evelyn stares down at him waiting for more but he wont give it to her, they are his memories and she doesn't have the right to know them.

"We were paralyzed, unable to do anything but lay there." I say loudly to get the attention off Uriah.

"Were you awake during this time?"  
"I wouldn't say awake, but in and out of consciousness, yes."  
"Were you able to hear what was going on around you?"  
"Yes." I say softly as I close my eyes and rest my head back on my hand.

"Oh..." I hear Evenly say softly to us, I open my eyes slightly as look at her. Her eyes are set on the floor in front of her and her mouth is turned down as if she regrets asking the last set of questions.

"But did they make it so you were both believed to be dead, even by the doctors?" Evelyn says, frustration filling her tone.

"We don't know, most likely a question you should be asking your medical staff!" I snap.  
"How did you break out of Erudite?" she continues.  
"We were placed under a stimulation and we fooled Panton into believe it had worked on us and we were being walked through the Erudite compound when we took our chance and attacked." I say as I try to remove to memory from my mind- I killed 4 people while I was escaping from Erudite and I'd rather not remember it.

"But you already knew that, considering you've seem the videos." Uriah says harshly to Evelyn as he opens his eyes, she looks away quickly and begins to ask another question.

"When did you find out your parents were alive Tris?" My head is spinning with the amount of information that is being brought to the surface, but the types of questions being asked continue to throw me off and lose all concentration I had gathered.  
"I was placed into a room where they were and then a few days later Panton took them somewhere else." My mind goes back to the day my parents were dragged out while I screamed at the guards to leave them alone.

I search the crowd for my parents as Evelyn begins to ask Uriah some questions It doesn't take me long, my mother is in the far left hand corner of the room, her eyes are red- like she has been crying but she offers me a small smile. Oddly, I feel comfort from it.

"I have one more question for you both." Evelyn says and my eyes snap away from my mothers and back onto hers. eyes a look at her.

"What is you deepest regret?"

We both stiffen as we hear the question; we both know each other's answer to this question.  
"Not sleeping with Marlene when I had the chance." Uriah says with a small smile on his face. I let out a small laugh and give his head a small jolt with a shoulder, I'm thankful he lied because I can do the same.  
"Tris?"

"Killing Will." I let his name fall from my lips as I push aside the image of his body fallen lifeless to the ground. This is something I regret deeply, but its not my biggest regret anymore.  
"Thank you both for your honesty" Evelyn says and the crowd does the same.

I intensely feel lighter as the words are spoken but Evelyn turns to the crowd, hushing them. Uriah turns to me with a confused look on his face and I just shrug my shoulders as I turn my attention back to Evelyn.

"I have one more thing to inform you off." She says as she turns from the crowd to face Uriah and I once more. "Some of the leaders here, including myself have decided it is also necessary to have you both placed through your fear landscapes in order for us to assess you mental capability and strength." Her words flow easily out of her as she delivers the news to us.  
"When?" I ask.

"This afternoon, at 2 o'clock." She crosses her arms across her chest and lets a small smile spread across her face as she sees my eyes blinking to fast as I attempt to push back the tears.

"SO WE ARE JUST BECOMING LAB RATS AGAIN?" I jump as I hear Uriah scream besides me. I didn't realise he had moved from my shoulder and is now standing in front of Evelyn, his hands are clenched into fists as he try's to his shaking, but I can still see it.

"Once you complete the fear landscape you will not be placed under anymore stimulations." Evelyn says gently as she walks towards 4 men.

I can't move, if I move, I will fall apart and if I fall apart she wins. So I decide to stare at the floor in front me as I hear footsteps walking towards me.

"Stand up." I hear a males voice say loudly to me. I look up and see a dark man with a beard standing over me, his eyes are hard and there's a gun strapped to his waist.

"I wont ask again!" He says to me even louder this time. I cross my arms and hold them close to my body, to hide my shaking as I stand. He places a hand around the top of my forearm and pushes me forward across the stage and down the stairs where another men is waiting and to open up the same door I entered through. I hear someone running up behind us.  
"I'll walk her back." I hear them say. TOBIAS! I spin around and fall into his arms as I swallow back sobs that threaten to rip me apart. I hear the other men foot steps as he walks away and Tobias wrapping his arms around me as he begins to speak.

"It will be ok, you are strong Tris... You will get through this."

"I don't seem to have any other choice, do I?" I say back, I didn't mean for my tone to be so harsh but I can't change it now.

"No, you don't. But once its over you'll never have to be put under any stimulation ever." He says gently as he bends down, placing an arm under my knees and then another around my shoulders and scoops me up into his arms. I speak again; I just listen to the sound of Tobias heartbeat as he carries me down the hallway towards my room.


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey guys!  
Sorry this chapter is short, but I'm hoping you love the next one **

**I do want to say THANK YOU to everyone who have been reading my story from the start and are still reviewing, it means a lot to me  
- Haylstars, thank you for all your lovely reviews  
I hope you all enjoy chapter 9!**

I don't own Divergent. 

Its midday when I get back to my room with Tobias, I push open the door and see Christina, Zeke and Uriah sitting on my floor.

"Hey." I say as I offer a small smile to them all.  
"Hey, T-diz!" Zeke says with a goofy big grin on his face.

"Mm, Thanks for the nickname Uriah." I say as I throw my empty drink bottle at him as I climb onto my bed.

"I thought you'd like it!" He says with a laugh and throws the drink bottle back at me.

"I wont be answering to that name, just so you know." I say to them all as I lay myself fall back against my pillows and stare up at the ceiling. Tobias sits down next Uriah and leans against my bed; I reach my arm out and run my fingers through the back of his hair. He catches my hand with his and turns his head and kisses it, I give him a small smile before turning my attention back to the ceiling.  
"Was it me or were those questions a little odd today?" I hear Christina say.  
"They … didn't really answer any major questions." Tobias says slowly.  
"She saw the videos, she doesn't actually need any answers from us anymore." I say as I bring my hands up and cover my face.  
"Mmmm..." Is all I hear from Uriah.  
"Were you aware you were under the truth serum?" Zeke asks.  
"Yeah." Uriah says as he gets up and walks into the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him.

"Is he alright?" Christina asks. I'm not sure if it's to me or Zeke but I answer anyway.

"He'll be fine, he just needs to get his head around the fact that we're going into a fear landscape today." I roll onto my side so I can see everyone.  
"Are you ok?" Christina asks me.

"Yeah, I'm good." I don't sound at all convincing but Christina gives me a small smile and replies.

"Good."  
Zeke spreads himself out on the floor, resting his chin on his arms, Christina shuffles her way back against the wall and picks up a book that is sitting in the cupboard and flips through the pages, Tobias however pushing himself up and walks to the other side of my bed and settles down besides me. I roll over to face him; he places a hand under my chin and begins to run his fingers up and down my neck, his eyebrows are pulled together again and his lips are pressed together in a line.  
"What's wrong?" I ask him quietly. I can hear Zeke laugh softly at Christina as she reads out loud the book she just found.  
"You're different, you're older… You've matured in a way that I can't wrap my head around." He speaks the word so softly I strain to hear them. "I don't know." He finishes.  
"We should most likely talk about everything at one point soon."  
"Yeah, we have a lot to catch up." He says as he pulls his hand away and rolls over to look at the ceiling.

Something's wrong.

A quiet Tobias is a bad Tobias. I stare at him for a few more moments, he closes his eyes and his breathing begins to slow down as he falls asleep.  
Uriah comes out of the bathroom, his hair is soaked but he has a smile on his face now. The smile still doesn't touch his eyes but it will be awhile until it does, I think. He walks around to my side of the bed and sits down next to me; he lays his head down close to mine as he begins to talk.

"This is going to be hell Tris…"  
"I know, but we will be ok" I try to sound as positive as possible for Uriah, but the truth is, I don't know if I'm going to be ok after we do this. We were put through our fear landscapes once, about a year ago and I've never experienced anything so horrible.

"We just have to get through this day and hopefully it will be all over." I say softly.  
I remember hearing the screams that would come from his room the nights after we completed our fear landscapes, it stopped after awhile but only because Panton decided to drug him with some type of sleeping serum. I think he was thankful for that though.  
"I would wake up screaming for weeks and you wouldn't sleep for weeks, I don't think it's going to be ok Tris." I stare at Uriah in disbelief.  
"I was actually thinking about that."  
"About you not sleeping or me screaming."  
"You screaming." I say softly, almost wishing he wouldn't hear me.  
I hear a small knock on my door and look up to see my mother and father as they walk in. My father still wears his grey clothing, while my mother wears black jeans and a red T-shirt. I smile slightly to myself as I remember how she was once Dauntless, how we are so similar in so many ways and I didn't even notice until it she found me drowning in the tank.  
"Beatrice, Uriah how are you feeling?" My father asks as he looks awkwardly at me, it takes me a moment to realise that on one side me I have Tobias and than the other Uriah head is so close to mine that I can feel his breathe on my neck.  
"We are good." I say for the both of us as I lift myself into a sitting position and Uriah turns himself around so he is facing Zeke and Christina, who are now pretending to read slightly.  
My mother walks over towards me and takes my hand and places her free hand on Uriah shoulder.  
"You will both get through this fear landscape and everyone here will help you heal and put the past behind you." My mothers voice is soft and calming but it stirs up a fire inside of me.  
Everyone seems to think Uriah and I will be able to be the same people who never experienced the type of torture that they are all shutting out of their minds, but its not possible, we cant just forget the past. We are different people now we have change, for the better and the worst.  
I give my mother a small smile but I know she see's right through it.  
"You will be ok Beatrice, remember that.'' She says as she turns back to my father and walks out of the room quietly.

"You interact with your family in an odd way Tris, I mean you were all dead and I haven't seen you guys hug once!" Christina says as she peers at me over the top off the book.

"Abnegation still runs deep I guess." I say with a shrug and watch as she turns her attention back to the book.  
The room falls silent; the only thing I hear is Tobias slow, steady breathing as I slowly fall asleep beside him. 

I'm shaken awake.  
"Tris, wake up you have half an hour before your fear landscape." I hear Tobias voice break through the wall of sleep I'm still trying to hold on to. I let out a groan as I roll over and dig my face into the pillow, hoping I can just stay here forever. I hear Tobias laugh at me before feeling his weight shift the bed and his hands on my hips and he pulls me into his lap.  
"Hey." He says as he presses his lips to mine. His warmth spreads through me, and I let out a small sigh as he pushes my lips apart and deepens the kiss. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull my leg around so I'm straddling him. I feel his breath against me as I pull back and look at him.

"Hi" I say with a small smile. I look down at his watch and see that I only have 20 minutes until I get to face my fears again.

"I should go, wouldn't want to hold anyone up" I say sarcastically as I push myself away from Tobias and lace my fingers into his as I pull him towards to the door with me.

XXXX

Tobias pulls me to a holt just before we enter through the doors.

"How are you?" He asks me, his eyes turning dark as he try's to read my expression.  
"I'm ok." I say quietly before reaching up on my tiptoes and press my lips to his. It is like all the other kisses we've had since I got back, this one is slow and thoughtful. I bring my hand up and press them softly on his neck as his hands cover mine gently; I pull back and look up at him. He gives me a small smile and says.  
"Be brave Beatrice" as he wraps his arm tightly around me as we turn and walk into the room.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10! Enjoy guys **

**- I don't own divergent. **

My eyes snap open as I feel a cold breeze hit my face, I look around and realise that I'm in Abnegating. I let a small smile touch my lips as I feel comfort wash over me from the familiar surroundings of the place I once called home. I turn as I hear footsteps come up behind me, three figures dressed in black robes stand in front of me, I can't make out their faces but a small laugh comes from one of them. The smell of smoke fills my nose and I swing around to see the houses around me on fire, I listen for screams but I only hear the crackling sound of the fire killing everything in its path. The fires begin to join together, creating a massive wall of flames in front of me; I take a step back and look over my shoulder to see another wall of fire burning towards me and the are people gone. My lungs fill with smoke as I drop to my knees trying to grasp for air, I bring my shirt up to cover my nose as I peer up at the flames – I cant see anything another than the thick black wall of smoke that is slowly chocking me to death. I place my head back down close to my knees as I begin to cough uncontrollably, and than I realise what I need to do.

I push myself up as I clench my mouth shut as I feel my skin begin to burn, I begin to run towards the fire, I pull my hands up to cover my face as I jump through the flames and tumble onto my side.

I'm gasping for air as I roll onto my back and watch as the sky above me turns into a grey ceiling with a single light hanging from in the middle, I turn my head as I hear a loud thud.

"Tris! Seriously get up!" I hear Uriah scream, but it comes out more muffled than normal.

I jump up to find Uriah contained in a small glass box, I run towards it.

"What's going on?" I yell as I press my hands against the glass staring at him, his eyes are wide with fear as I watch water begin to fall over him, and that's when I notice; his hands are tide together with wire and so are his ankles. He thrashes against the knots but the wire just rips into his skin causing large gashes that begin to spill out blood, I watch as the blood runs down his body and into the water building at his feet. I need to get him out.

I swing myself around and see cupboards lined up around the room. I race towards them and throw open the doors and pull out everything as I try to find something strong enough to break the glass.

"Tris! HURRY!" Uriah scream fills the room and turn to see the water rising up to his chest. Once he goes under he won't be able to swim, he will die and I will not watch another person I love die.

My body is trembling as I push myself up and race towards another cupboard and begin throwing everything out onto the fall around me.

My breathing becomes heavy as I search through everything in the cupboard but then I see what I've been looking for, a spear.

I pull it out and race back to Uriah; the water stains his skin red as it sloshes around his chin.

"Close your eyes" I say to him as I rise the spear and begin to slam it into the glass, nothing happens so I draw it back and slam it in harder.

He can't die I won't lose him! He is all I have left here. He is my family.

I slam it in once more when I hear a crack; I let a small sigh fall from my lips as I draw back the spear and slam it on the glass again.

Uriah is thrashing around as he try's to stay above the water, his eyes meet mine and they plead for help as I brace myself again and slam the spear into the glass over and over until, finally I feel the glass giving way as it creates a small hole, I pull the spear out as I watch the water begin to rush out, but I still need to get him out. I take a few steps back as place all my weight onto my back foot and throw my elbow against the weak spot in the glass over and over until I hear the splitting of glass and watch a large, thick crack begins to fall right down the middle. Smaller cracks begin to break out and soon I'm watching the glass shatter to the floor and I throw myself towards Uriah as he falls to the forward.

"Don't be dead, please don't be dead," I whisper into his ear as I push him forward and sit behind him, supporting his body weight.

I hear him begin to chock on the water in his throat, I lean him over my leg and pat his back gently on the back as he spits out the water.

"You're alive," I say as I feel my heart beat slow down and lean my head against his.

My arms fall against the armrests of the chair I'm sitting it. I open my eyes and see Paton standing before me.

"Well that was interesting," she says with a smile on her face.

"What's going on?" I say as I feel a ropes being tighten around my wrists.

"The stimulation" she says as she tilts her head to the side. "You seemed very happy, it took you twice as long to realise it wasn't real." A small smirk touches her lips as my eyes spread wide with fear and my mouth falls open.

No, it was real, I was back with my family, my friend's, and I was back with Tobias!

"I must say, you and Tobias were very cute, it's a shame he's out there," She says pointing to the direction of the face. "And you are still in here," she finishes.

My breathing is heavy and fast as I try to calm myself down and clear my head.

This isn't real this isn't real I try to remind myself, but the pain around my wrist feels real and the same familiar smell of the Erudite compound makes my skin crawl. My palms are covered in sweat as I try to pull them free, I feel my skin burn as it rubs against the rough service of the rope. My left arm becomes free first and I quietly undo the knot of my right arm as Paton runs towards me with a needle in her hand. I jump up from the chair, turning and grabbing the armrests firmly and with all my strength I pick it up and slam it into her, the impact sends shocks up my arms as let it drop onto her.

The room begins to move inwards and I suddenly find myself back in the empty white room with everyone around me. They stare blankly at the screens in front of them as I begin to pull the wires of my head and stand, no body turns to look at me as I make my way over to them.

"Hi?" I say slowly, trying to get their attention but it doesn't work.  
The doors slam open behind me and I spin around to see David walk it, he looks exactly the same as he did the day he shot me, I swallow hard, as if im trying to swallow the fear away. His eyes lock onto mine and he reaches around to his back and pulls out a gun, I freeze as I watch him slowly raise the gun and aim it at my chest.

Before I can move I hear the gun go off and my chest begin to burn, as if there is a fire starting inside of me, I bring my hands up, trying to cover the wound but I just watch helplessly as they become covered with my blood. I look around as I wait for everyone to rush towards me to help but they don't, their eyes haven't left the screens.

"Help Me," I say with a sob as I fall to my knees and watch as the darkness takes over.

I throw myself forward as I feel someone's hands settle me back against the chair.

"Your done Beatrice, it's ok" I hear my mother say as she runs her hands through my hair and my cheeks.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11! **

**I hope you guys like it  
Thank you so much for all your kind words!  
**

**- I don't own divergent  
XXX **

My breathing is heavy and loud as I look up at my mother, her cheeks are wet from tears but her eyes are as clear as the sky. My father begins to pull the wires off me as I throw my legs over the edge and push myself off the chair. My legs feel shaky but I feel my father's hand on my back to steady me,

"Did you guys watch all of that?" My voice comes out rough and scratchy.  
"Yes, we did." My father answers quickly.  
Evelyn looks up from the computer screen and watches me as I walk down the steps.  
"Well done Tris, Four fears and completed in just under 7 minutes, now that's impressive." She says.  
"I'm not sure why it's impressive Evelyn, its not like it actually means anything to you out here." Or at least it shouldn't mean anything to her... I think to myself.  
"I'm just congratulating you that's all." She says sweetly, my stomach twists into one huge knot as I turn away from her. Two years on and I still don't trust her.  
"Where is Uriah?" I ask "And everyone else…" I add quickly  
"They're waiting outside the door, there was a small computer screen that showed you fear landscape." Evelyn answers my question as she ejects a small chip from the computer and walks to the door. My parents and I follow.

As the doors swing open I see Tobias leaning against the wall, Christina is pacing up and down the hallway, Zeke has he head in his hands, Caleb is standing with his head leaning against the wall and his eyes clamped shut and then I see Cara, she's sitting crossed legged against the wall with her eyes on us. I haven't seen Cara since being back here and her features overwhelmed me, I forgot how much she looked like Will. I keep searching the room for Uriah but he isn't here.

My parents both give me a small hug and follow Evelyn back towards the main area.  
Christina rushes towards me and wraps her arms around my chest.

"Kind of can't breath Christina." I say with a small laugh.  
"Are you ok?" She asks franticly  
"I'm fine." I say as I give her a smile. I look around at everyone; Zeke offers me a small smile.

"Where is Uriah?" I try to hide the urgency in my voice the best I can.

"Went to get a drink when you finished with your fear landscape." Zeke answers me as he gives me a quick hug and walks out the door.

"I'll see you guys at the dinner hall later." He shouts down the hallway.

I watch as Christina slowly follows him and Cara gives me a small smile and runs after her. It's just Caleb, Tobias and I in the room now. Caleb walks over to me and places a hand on my shoulder.  
"You did so well Tris, I've never seen someone stay so calm in so many different fearful situations." I look down at my feet, why are they tell me I've done well? Why are they all treating this like it isn't a big deal! I mean I escaped from the city after being placed under stimulation after stimulation and they are shocked that I know how to handle myself in them? I feel anger begin to burn inside me again as I look back up at Caleb, His eyes are open wide, like they are thirsty for information that I don't have for him.  
"Thanks." I say simply and coldly as I cross my arms over my chest. I don't want to listen to people telling me how great I am at getting through my fear landscape; I don't see it as a victory anymore… It's a curse, it's what made people want to kill me since the age of 16 and then decide torturing me was a better idea.

Tobias walks up behind Caleb and shoves him aside; his hand cups my chin and forces me to look up at him.  
"Hey, what are you thinking? Talk to me" He says so gently it relaxes me straight away. I watch as Caleb turns and walks away, leaving us to be alone.

"It's not a victory, getting through the fear landscape I mean, it's not something I consider celebrating about anymore." I draw in a breath to steady myself.

"You had four fears Tris, Four… After everything you went through, your number of fears dropped from the very first time you under went your fear landscape at Dauntless, I think the fact that you are stronger now than you were almost three years ago and after everything you've experienced and seen, I think that's something that is worth celebrating." A smile shows slightly at the corner of his mouth as I press my lips against his, he gently places both his hands on the side of my face and pulls back gently, just for a moment.  
"I love you Beatrice." He says my name with so much concentration and emotion that is takes me of guard. I look up at him and watch as a single teardrops from his eye and rolls down his cheek, I raise my hand and brush my fingertips across his cheek wiping it away.

"I love you too Tobias." I say as I reach up on my tiptoes and press my lips to his once more. My hands twist themselves into his hair as his fall to my waist, pulling me closer to him. I feel his body heat spill over onto me, a small shiver runs through me as I feel him wrap his arms tighter around me and lifts me off my feet. I pull my legs up and around him as a small sigh falls from his mouth and into mine, a smile touches my lips as I feel him walk forward and presses me firmly against the wall. Every muscle in my body screams for his, I cling to him tighter as I feel him bite down and pull on my bottom lip, soft enough to not cause any pain but hard enough for it to send a jolt of electricity to run through me. I want him, my hands search for the bottom of his shirt as I crave to run my hands over every section of his back. I crave for his skin on mine, but suddenly

I hear a sound coming from the hallway, I open my eyes as I feel Tobias stiffen and pull back from me. A sense of disappointment is hidden in his facial expression as he turns his head looking to see who is coming.

"Sorry if I'm interrupting anything" I hear a familiar voice, I become tense when I realise who is standing in front of us while I'm pinned to the wall with Tobias shirt half way off.

Nita.

I unwrap my legs and slide down as Tobias hands stay on my waist to steady me.

"Nita, what are you doing here?" Tobias asks, his voice unforgiving and full of anger.

I look up at his face and see his eyebrows pulled tightly together and his mouth is set into a hard line. Maybe he is still upset about being fooled by her when the explosion occurred, I think to myself.  
"I just herd Tris only had four fears in her landscape, looks like you two have something else in common other than the past." Her voice is filled with amusement and a smirk appears on her lips as she looks over at me. "But it's amazing, after everything you've been through you … you still have such a small amount of fears and not one of those fears included losing Tobias." My heart drops, over time I've come to except that life would be different and I had no control over anyone else or their actions because I was dead to them and the natural thing for them was to move on… And I can't be mad at them for that or be fearful of it.  
"I'm sorry Nita, but I don't understand why this situation or what my fears are, any of your business?" I speak slowly, controlling every bit of my emotion in order to keep my eyes steady and stern on her.

"Oh, I guess it has nothing to do with me, not anymore." And with that I watched her turn around and slowly leave the room.

"What was that about?" I ask Tobias as I feel him let go of my waist.

"I ah, I have no idea." He says as he reaches up to scratch the back of his neck. My stomach twists into knots again, he is lying to me, but why would he lie to me about something to do with Nita? But most of all, why would he choose to lie to me after everything?

"Come on, let go get some dinner." I hear Tobias say as he snaps me out of my thoughts. He kisses the top of my head and wraps his arm around me as we walk towards the dinning room.

I grab a sandwich as I walk through the doors and head to the table in the back left corner where everyone else is sitting. I stretch my neck as I search to make sure Uriah is there, I let out a small sigh as I realise he is in the middle of Zeke and Cara. I sit down next to Christina and Tobias sits on the other side.  
"How'd you go?" Uriah asks me as he looks up from his bowl on brown mash.  
"I kicked butt," I say with a small smile on my face, hoping to bring some life back into his eyes. "You?" His face relaxes a bit and he lets a smile touch the corners of his mouth.  
"I did awesomely." He states with a massive smile on his face. "How many this time?"  
He doesn't need to actually say what he wants to know; we know each other better than anyone could. I wince slightly at that thought, can Tobias ever understand me the way Uriah does? I take a bite of my sandwich and hold up four fingers in front of my face.  
"Three less than last time, nicely done T-diz."  
"And you?" I ask as I raise an eyebrow.  
"Five" He says with a shrug.

"It must be nice, being able to control stimulations and control your fear… I guess it just must be nice to be divergent." Christina says. I look over at her and see that her mouth hangs open as she realises what she just said.

"Right, because being divergent has gotten us into a really great place in life, I mean we got to survive a war, got kidnapped and held at Erudite for a few years and now we get to have the fact that we are divergent thrown in our faces!" Uriah throws his words at Christina as if they are knifes, his eyes are dark and his hand wrap so tightly around this fork that it's shaking.  
"I'm sorry, I ah, I didn't realise what I was saying" Christina's voice comes out rushed and uncertain, her eyes shift from me to Uriah… pleading for us to understand but Uriah throws his chair back and storms out of the dinning hall.  
"It's ok Christina, I get it…" I say as I stand up, "I'm just going to go find him and see if he's alright." I offer them all a small smile as I push my chair back and race out the door as I look for Uriah.

I see him walking towards the apple tree rows; his hands are in balls as he begins to walk faster.

"URIAH, WAIT UP" I yell out at him. I see his shoulders tense up slightly as he decides whether he can out run me or not.

"You know I can run faster than you, so don't even try it." I say with a small laugh as I reach him, "So where are we going?"  
"Apple rows again, I need to be alone."  
"Alone with me?" I demand rather than ask.  
"Yeah, come one." Uriah sighs as he grabs my hand and pulling me along with him.

We both make our way to the apple tree rows, I turn around to make sure we are still alone and also to make sure no one is in hearing distance.

"Ok GO!" I scream at Uriah, I throw my hands up over my head and let out a high-pitched laugh.  
"They just, they! We aren't… we are people, NOT LAB RATS!" He throws his arms up over his head like me.

"I'm not made at Christina, I'm angry at the fact that after everything they have witnessed and experienced, they still have this _aw _towards us for being divergent…" His voice becomes soft as he continues. "We aren't super hero's, we are human, we are just Tris and Uriah, why cant be just be Tris and Uriah?" I watch as he begins to pace up and down the row, his hands running through his hair. "We didn't ask for this, we didn't want any of this! But yet they still blame us? Or be in _aw _with us! We lost 3 years of our lives because we were divergent, we got to lay still on a table and listen to our family say their goodbyes!" He's shouting now, but I can hear the strain of sadness beginning to creep into his voice. "They didn't have to experience that, they didn't get dragged back to Erudite and locked up, they got to except our deaths and move on and we, well we got to live with the fact that they moved on from our deaths and started a new life." He drops to his knees, his face in his hands.  
I walk slowly towards him as I hear a sob break out from the deepest part of him. I sit down and wrap my arms around his back, my arms don't reach all the way around but I grab onto his shirt as I grip myself tighter around him as another sob bursts out of him.

"We were just kids, we were 16 and they decided to kidnap us and destroy us because they believed the threatened their fucking system!" His voice comes out broken as another sob shatters through him, I can feel him breaking right next to me and a sob of my own threatens to break out as I agree with every word he is saying.  
"They didn't destroy us Uriah, we lived we fought hard and we made it out and made it back to our families." I'm not sure if I actually believe what I'm saying but I try to believe.

"They did, don't you see Tris… We are different people, our families expect us to be the same people they lost almost 3 years ago, but we are not those people anymore, we are the two adults that were kidnapped at 16 to be taken and tortured by Paton at Erudite." He takes a deep shaky breath as he continues. "The war started because of people like us, because they just decided that we were a danger to their system and we couldn't and wouldn't be controlled, we were just kids for Christ sake! We didn't want to change the way we live; we just wanted to start our life with the people we loved!" I look down into my lap, we didn't decide this, we didn't want this, we just wanted for our lives to be our own, and we didn't want a war.  
His hands dig into his hair as I watch the tears fall down his cheek. "I didn't want my life to be like this Tris, I didn't want to be faced with a life of torture and memories that will continue to stay fresh in my mind every morning after I wake up screaming from my nightmares… I just, I just want to be done now." The last part comes out as a whisper, so soft that I don't even think he realised that I herd him.  
I slide in front of him and grab his face gently with my hands as I look into his eyes. His eyelashes are wet from his tears and I notice how his eyes turn darker as fresh tears begin to build up again.  
"You are not done, you are my family Uriah and I cannot get through this without you, you were all I had in Erudite, hearing your screams in the morning let me sigh in relief because I knew you were alive, I knew you made it through the night." I blink away my tears as I push away a memory of watch Uriah begin dragged unconscious back into his room, I stayed awake the whole night just praying he would wake up screaming so I knew he was ok. "You kept me alive in there because I knew you'd give up if I did and I couldn't let them take someone like you away from this world… No matter how horrible it may seem at times." My voice breaks as I feel Uriah hands wrap around me and pull me into his lap as he hugs me.  
"You are my sister, you are my family as well Tris." I hear him say softly into my ear. We sit together until the sun had set and a cold breeze begins to sweep through the trees.  
"I need a drink and some more food." Uriah says as he breaks the silence.  
"I'll go find some food for us and some warmer clothes while you go find something to drink, we shall have our own pity party of a celebration!" I try to sound excited but my voice just comes out exhausted and Uriah lifts an eyebrow and gives me a small laugh as we make our way back to the building.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12!**

Ok, so you are all going to hate me for this chapter but just stay with me, everything is going to be ok but you will have to stay with me for the next 2 chapters… Just understand that this is where my story has leaded me and it is leading me in a positive direction with Tris and Fours romance, it just can't be so simple I feel.

Lot of love!  
Please try to enjoy this 

Uriah and I try to walk as quietly as humanly possible down the halls as we try to find my room.  
I hear a hiccup burst out of Uriah's mouth and I can't stop myself from cracking up laughing. I throw my hand over my mouth to muffle to sound as I lean against the wall and topple over myself laughing.  
"Tris, come on I'm busting for the toilet." Uriah whispers in a slurred voice as he grabs my hand with a laugh and tugs me along behind him.  
We stumble further up the hallway, muffling our laughter with our hands when I stop in my tracks and pull Uriah to a stop with me.  
"What's up?" Uriah says as he looks around us.  
I place a finger to my lips as I try to focus on the voices I can hear around the corner.  
"When are you going to tell her four?" My eyes widen when I hear Tobias nickname.

"Its not that simple!" I hear Tobias voice, its low but the tension he holds in it is thick enough to feel from here.  
"It's actually pretty simple, all you need to say is oh and by the way I was sleeping with Nita when I was trying to get over your death… See simple." I feel tears flowing down my face so fast I can't control or stop them. Uriah wraps his arms around me, I dig my face into his chest as I try to control myself but I can't, a sob bursts from my lips and the chatter between Tobias and Nita stops.  
"Shit!" I say as I look up and Uriah, his eyes are wide with pain for me as he looks up at Tobias and Nita walking towards us.  
"Uriah?" I hear Nita say as their footsteps become louder.  
My heartbeat is racing and I can feel another sob pushing it's way to the surface again.  
"…. Tris?" Tobias pronounces my name with so much hesitation that it's then that I know what Nita had said was true. "Oh god, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean for you to find out this way." I hear him beg as I keep my head hidden in Uriah chest.  
"I think you both should take this conversation somewhere more private than the hallway outside Tris's door!" Uriah voice slowly became louder with each word he spoke.  
"Tris…. Please, let me explain." Tobias voice comes out in a plead; he opens his mouth to keep talking but stops once I turn to face him. Nita try's to hide her smirk behind her hand as I stare up at the both of them.  
"I'd rather you just go away four!" I say and drop my eyes to the floor as I try to hide the tears that have begun to rush to the surface again.  
I never thought he would sit around and wait for me when he believe I was dead… But I also never thought he'd sleep with someone else and it not mean anything... Or maybe it did mean something? Oh god. I feel sick, and its not because all the bottle of whiskey Uriah and I just shared.  
The image of his lips on hers fills my mind and I bring my hands up to cover my face, trying to shove the image out as I hear their fading footsteps down the hall.

"Come on, you can stay with me tonight." Uriah says as he wraps his arm around me and pulls me closer to him as we make our way to his room.  
We stubble into his room, his arm still wrapped tightly around my waist.  
"Maybe… We should have another drink?" Uriah asks me as he finally releases me and walks towards the bench along his back wall.

"Why not." I shrug as I wipe my nose on my jumper and walk towards the coffee table in the middle of the room and sit on the floor. I watch Uriah turn and walk towards me with our drinks; he sits down next to me and places my drink in front of me.  
"You ok?" He asks me as he gives me a small nudge.  
I just shrug as I grab my drink and take a mouthful, at the beginning of the night I winced away from the taste and smell of this drink but now I can swallow it without any effort.  
"I really can't be mad, can I? I mean he believed I was dead and didn't know I'd be coming back." I say as I try to cover my small sob that has risen up in my chest.

"You can still be mad Tris, He has spent every night with you since you got back and didn't even try to tell you." Uriah words came out in a rushed slur, I look at him as he downs the rest of his drink and I do the same.  
"Thanks" I say as I place my now empty glass on the table again, a little harder than I was expecting. I let his words sink in as I think of the past two nights where Tobias and I both laid quietly wrapped in each others arms, letting our hands run down each other bodies as we memorize each other again.  
"Meh, I try to stay positive," Uriah says with a laugh.  
"Right, because that speech was super positive." I say sarcastically back to him and watch as he lets another huge laugh rubble through him.  
"But in all seriousness, I haven't really spoken to him about anything that has happened over the past two years" I say as I push myself up and grab our empty glasses and slowly, concentrating on every step I take as I make my way to the bench and begin to make us another drink.  
"Yeah, but did you sleep with anyone?"  
"Oh, well there was this one guy, the one that walked me to the bathroom every morning." I say over my shoulder as I pour the whiskey into our glasses.

"Ha Ha, very funny Tris" Uriah says only slightly amused.  
"Not believable?" I as with a smirk as I hand Uriah his glass.  
"Nope not at all, sorry"  
"Just the thought of him doing that with someone else. I don't know… it's kind of sickening." I say as I take a big gulp of my drink.  
"Yeah, I get you… But you two will be ok." He says as he sits his glass on the table and turns to face me.  
"Ok?" He asks again.  
"Its not that simple Uriah, I ah" He cuts me off by placing his hand over my mouth.  
"Beatrice, you love that boy and everyone is Dauntless watched you two fall for each other and damn it he loves you, despite his shitty emotional judgment of sleeping with Nita he still loves you, and you are lucky… you are so lucky to still have him love you after all this time, you both need to work this out and become Tris and Four again, OK?" He eyes pour themselves into mine as I blink away the tears that began building up when Uriah started talking.

"Ok." I whisper as I pull Uriah hand away.  
"But not right now, because we are drinking and you are too drunk to have a serious conversation with him." Uriah adds quickly as he settles himself against the couch. I let out a small laugh as take another sip of my drink.  
We sit in silence for a few moments before I realise I haven't asked him what he fears actually were this time.  
"Your fears landscape… what were your fears this time around?" I ask him, he has told me his fears before but we've discovered that they seemed to change each time we went through it.  
"It started out with being invisible, you know… walking around screaming into everyone's faces and just watching them walk right by you without a single glance." He leans his head back so he is looking at the roof as he lets out a small sigh. "What was your first fear?" He asks me in a numbed tone.  
"Being stuck in the middle of a fire and having to run through it to get out." I say as I stare straight forward at the blue and grey wall.  
"Second fear was waking up in Erudite again and believing that this was all a dream."

"That was one of mine as well, it felt more real than the rest of them I swear." I say softly to him, still keeping my eyes glued to the wall. "It was the smell, the damp cold but somewhat sweet smell of Erudite that sent me over the edge to the point that I actually believed for a spilt second that it was all a dream."

"When we were back in there," Uriah begins. "It was the sound of your door opening and hearing your struggle as they dragged you out." One of his hands now covers his eyes and the other holding tightly onto his drink. "Your struggle was what made me sigh in relief because I knew you were alive, I knew you made it through the night." I let myself smile slightly, knowing that he needed a sign to know I was still alive every morning, just like I did… he needs me and I need him, I'm always going to need him.  
"What was your second fear?" I hear Uriah asks, snapping me out of my thoughts.  
"It was you… I had to save you from drowning, I ah... I almost lost you," I say so quietly that Uriah had to lean forward to hear me, he would never ask me speak up in a situation like this. "Loosing you in there was my biggest fear because I knew if you died I would let myself go as well, but I saved you in the end and all is right with the world." I finish quickly. I see Uriah looking up at me from the corner of my eye, I don't move, I don't break my stare, I just wait until he gathers himself enough to move onto his next fear.  
"Third fear," Uriah says, clearing his throat before moving on, "was having to watch you die, they took a gun to your head and shot you right in front off me, I couldn't do a thing to try and stop it."  
I have nothing to say, its never been a shock that we needed each other to stay alive in Erudite, but we just never spoke about it to each other because we knew once we did, it would be it. We would have ended our lives together, we would have given up… and we couldn't do that, we needed to get back here, to our families.  
"I woke up in Erudite with Panton standing in front of me as she tells me I was under a stimulation and we didn't actually make it outside of the fence, I slammed a chair over her to move on to my last fear." I say, this time shifting my gaze to the drink in my hand, it was still full while Uriah's is empty.  
"Your fourth fear?" I ask him. I watch as he takes a deep breath in a slowly releases it.  
"The screams, the feeling of being glued to the table because you can't move and your lungs feel as if they are going to explode because you are breathing so slowly that you don't think you're going to make it, but somehow you manage to keep going… but in the end it's the sobs and screams. The screams that beg you to come back, they were blasted through the pitch-black room I was in." I shuffle closer to him and grab his hand with mine as I hear his voice crack; his eyes are blank as he stares of into nothing. I wrap my hand around his, I don't entwine our fingers like Tobias and I do, my psychical contact with Uriah comes freely and comfortably but it doesn't compare to the warmth and thoughtful touches that Tobias and I share between each other.  
"My last fear was having David shoot me again, but this time everyone I loved was in the room and they didn't even notice I was dying." I tell Uriah my last fear, knowing he needs to get his mind away from the memory of his family sobbing as they realise they wouldn't get him back.  
"Why was that your last fear?" He asks me, curiosity filled his tone.  
"I think it was because I died, well believed I died so closely to help… Caleb was down the hall and Tobias was on his way back to from the city and I was dying in a lab room, I had no hope." My voice is strong as I tell Uriah my answer, but my mind spins with the memories of hearing his gun go off and feeling the sharp pain ripping through my body, the screams of help from Caleb as he finally finds me.  
"My last fear was being faced with choosing to kill my mother or Zeke." He simply says. I stare at him, waiting for more but I realise he is done.  
"Did they shoot you instead, because you didn't choose?" I ask, pushing for his final answer.  
"No, they both died in the end, I thought if I chose to die instead it would be ok, but they both died because I couldn't decide." He says looking down at my full cup and pushes up so it level with my mouth.

"Drink up Stiff, you're falling behind." He says with a smile and with that I know our serious talks are over. I smile at my old nickname, it was once a name that caused people to think I was weak but now it reminds me of who I once was and how much I have grown.  
"How horrible will I feel tomorrow?" I ask him with a laugh.  
"Out of 10? Most likely a 15." He answers through his laughter; I let out a small sigh before shutting my eyes and ignoring the burn in my throat as I scull the rest of the whiskey.


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey guys, I am so sorry for not updating sooner! I have just started a new job and training is a little big intense. However here is a long chapter! 3000 words! Yay. **

**I hope you enjoy, I just want you to all know not to give up on Fourtris, because it is coming! But they lived without each other for almost 3 years and they kind of have to get to know each other again. They still love each other but they need to talk about the past 3 years before they can really begin to be Tobias and Tris again.**

Anyway, I hope you enjoy, this is just a chapter that helps lead into some bigger advents Pease enjoy and don't give up on my story yet!

I do not own divergent.  
xxx 

I wake to a throbbing headache and the taste of vomit in my mouth.

"Ah" I groan as I stretch and roll over to face the window, I need fresh air and water. I slowly push myself out of bed, tripping on Uriah's foot in the process.  
"Stiff, honestly why are you moving around right now?" I laugh at myself as I hear Uriah huskie dry voice, thankfully I won't be going through this hangover alone.  
"I need water and fresh air." I say, feeling my head pound with every footstep that I take towards the fridge. I throw open the door, and grab out a bottle of water and take a sip. I feel it as it rushes down my throat and into my stomach, making my body feel slightly satisfied.  
"Any chance you could get your dying friend some water too?" I hear Uriah muffled voice asks from under his covers. I grab another water bottle out and throw it into his lap as I walk past him on my way towards the window. I push it open and feel relief as the cold crisp morning air rushes over me. I let out a sigh as I take a sip of water.  
"Was I right?" Uriah asks me.

"About what?" I say I was slide down the wall and cruel up into a ball, the cold floor feels good against my face.  
"About how you feel, around a 15 out of 10?" He says, as he pull's the blankets down so that I can see his eyes.  
"I think it's about a 20 to be honest." I say with a half smile on my face. "How do I fix this feeling?" I ask.  
"Food, lots of food and laying around." He answers me as he throws his blankets off him completely and pushes himself up into a sitting position.

"We are going to eat outside, the cold breeze feels nice this morning." I say simply, I see Uriah give me a confused look before shrugging his shoulders and getting up.  
"Whatever you want." He says as he reaches for my hand and helps me up. My head spins with the sudden movement and I lean against the wall until it stops.  
"This is going to be a long morning, isn't it?" I ask him  
"Oh yeah, plus we are going to get those disappointed looks from people who think we shouldn't be drinking considering our unstableness." He says with a small weak laugh.  
"Unstableness?" I question him.

"Yeah, they think we are unstable because we had our deaths faked and the whole being locked up for so long, remember?" Uriah says sarcastically.

"Oh, right!" I reply, using the same sarcastic tone back.  
I walk into Uriah bathroom and jump into the shower, I let the warm water fall over me as I try to concentrate on keeping myself standing. I find an unopened toothbrush under his sink and step back into the shower as I put a large amount of toothpaste onto it.  
I reach for my towel and wrap it tightly around myself as I sit down on the toilet, my head is spinning and my headache is worse than it was when I first woke, all I want it to lay down and sleep for a week. I sigh as I push myself up and begin to dry myself. I put on the same clothes as yesterday and quickly run my fingers through my hair before leaving the bathroom.

Uriah is on the bed as I shut the door behind me, he hair is wet and I can see the trail of water from the sink to his bed.  
"You know you could have just showered after me?" I say as I grab a rag and clean up the water.

"Yeah, but this is easier and I'm hungry now." He says as he picks me up and throws me over his shoulder. "Now, no more cleaning, it is time to eat and lay on the grass like you requested." He says in a mocking tone.  
I feel my stomach dig into his shoulders as we walk out of his room and down the hallway, the sun is still low in the sky and there are only a few people walking around.  
"Can I walk yet?" I ask him as we turn the corner.

"Yeah I guess, you were getting pretty heavy anyway." He pretends to almost collapse as he sets me to my feet.  
"And for that rude comment you are now on food duty while I go find us some nice grass to pass out on." I reply as I turn around and walk towards the exit, I hear Uriah call something out behind me but its lost as a gust of wind rushes over me.  
I walk slowly through the grass as I make my way towards one of the larger trees in the middle of the cleared area. I sit down and flop onto my back, looking up at the pale blue sky. The morning is windy, the clouds move through the sky faster then normal and my hair continues to blow over my face, blocking my view of the sky. I soon give up on trying to keep it tucked behind my ears and just close my eyes, throwing one arm over my them to completely block out the light, flipping my shoes off and relaxing my body as I try to ignore my aching head, unsettled stomach and the horrid taste in my mouth still. I concentrate on my breathing as another gust of wind embraces my body gently, nipping at my exposed skin, which sends cold shivers through my body and waking it up.  
"So getting up early with a hang over is a hard time, however getting to the food before everyone is defiantly worth it." I hear Uriah say as he walks up and sits beside me.

He holds two trays that are over flowing with food. I raise my eyebrows at him as he looks over at me.

"Got enough food there to feed a small army." I say with a laugh and push myself up and lean against the tree so the trays are in the middle of Uriah and I.

"If anyone can be a small army I think it would be you and I." Uriah says rolling his eyes at me. "Now just dig in, you'll feel better with some food in your stomach."  
I shake my head slightly as I look at the over flowing trays of food, trying to decide what I want to start with first. I decide to start off in the safe boat and eat bake beans on toast, the steam from the bake beans flies over my face as I bite into it.  
"How are you feeling anyway?" I ask Uriah in between my bites.  
"I have a pretty big headache but all this food will make everything better." He says as he reaches for the bacon. I watch as he tilts his head back and drops the piece of bacon into his mouth, some how he gets it in easily and grabs another piece straight away.

"This bacon is amazing." He mumbles through his food as he puts another piece in his mouth.

I just laugh and shake my head at him as I grab the bowl of scrabbled eggs and begin to dig in.

We sit there for a while not speaking as we continue to eat, focusing all our attention to the food in front of us and somehow finishing off everything on the trays.  
I stretch my legs out in front of me and rub my stomach softly as let out a short laugh when I notice how swollen it is from all the food I just consumed.

"So, how are you?" Uriah asks me as he lay's on his stomach in front of me.  
"I'm fine." I say with a small smile, but I know what he is getting at.  
"Don't give me that Tris, how are you with what we found at last night with Four and Nita?" He says with a small pitch of frustration in his tone.

"I ah, I don't know." I say simple as I run my hands over the grass in front of me.

Truthfully I don't know how I feel about last night, I still agree with my drunken self when I said I can't really be angry at Tobias for what he did, I was dead to him and he was doing what he felt he wanted to do at the time but it doesn't stop the pain.

"I am hurt by it and I don't know how I'm meant to react to this situation." I say to him, never letting my eyes shift from the grass. I hear Uriah begin to speak but he is cut off as I hear our names being called by someone off in the distance.

"Christina?" I call back to them. She must hear me because I see her jog towards us, followed closely by Zeke, as they gets closer I notice that they too have brought their breakfast out here.

"I've been looking for you everywhere Tris!" She says between pants. "I went to your room and you weren't there and Four said he hasn't seen you since yesterday afternoon."

My eyes shift to Uriah when I hear that Four lied about the last time he saw me, I guess nobody one else knows about him and Nita.  
"Man, you guys look like crap, no offence." Zeke says as he sits down next to Uriah, giving him a light nudge on the way down and begins to eat his cereal. I laugh at him as he gives me a smile that results in a small amount of milk falling out of the side of his mouth.

"Ah yeah, Uriah and I had a few drinks last night and I crashed in his room." I say sheepishly to them. I don't want people getting the wrong idea about Uriah and I, he is like a brother to me and I can be myself around him without having the hide my past away… He understands me.

"And by a few drinks you mean you got super drunk?" Christina says as she stretches her legs out in front of her and leans against the tree beside me.  
"We sure did." Uriah says with a massive grin on his face.

"I didn't even know you drank Tris." Zeke says.

"Yeah, last night it pretty much the first time." I replied back to him as I let a small smile touch my lips before turning my attention back to the grass in front of me.

"What do you guys have planned for today?" Uriah asks Christina and Zeke.

"Mm, I have to head out in about an hour to do a lap of the area to make sure everything is still clear, I should be back late this afternoon." Christina says as she tips her left over breakfast out.

"Do you guys do that everyday?" I ask her. Why would they still need to do patrols around the area everyday?

"Yeah, I do it every second day unless I'm asked other wise." She answers with a yawn, clearly this doesn't seem like such a big deal to her, but I don't understand why Bureau would still feel the need to do patrols everyday after the memory serum worked almost three years ago and the experiment was restarted?  
"What about you bro?" Uriah asks Zeke, breaking my train of thought.

"Todays my day off, but tomorrow I'm helping Four train some of the younger kids in self defense." His eyes light up as he tells us his plans for tomorrow, I laugh at him slightly as I shake my head.

"You still enjoy intimidating younger kids?" I ask him with a smile.

"I sure do!" He says with a little too much enthusiasm. "But you guys should come out with us, it would be fun and you both most likely need some training."  
"Um, Uriah and I can still fight." I say a little offended.

"Yeah, sure you guys can still fight, you'll never forget how to fight but I am just saying that you may need some improvement." He says in a softer tone this time, trying to mend the problem.

"I think you'll be surprised with us." I say in a cocky tone and throw a small rock at him. He catches it and throws it back to me but it goes right pass me, I look over my shoulder to try and see where it landed but its gone.  
"I guess we will just have to agree to disagree until we see you too train tomorrow." Zeke says as he shrugs his shoulders and leans back onto his elbows.  
"I'll head out with you guys if that's cool, I feel like I've hardly seen you two since you rose from the dead and scared the crap out of us." Christina says as she pushing herself up. "But for right now, I need to go get ready for work, I'll see you guys at dinner." She finishes as she gives us all a small wave and makes her way back to her room.

"I'm actually going to head back now as well." I say as I get to my feet, trying to ignore the spinning earth around me as I place a hand of the tree to steady myself.

"You alright to walk T-dizz? Or do you need to be thrown over my shoulder again?" Uriah says with a loud laugh.

"One, I told you not to call me that and two I am fine." I say sternly, but I can feel a smile begin to creep along my face as I walk passed them and back towards the dinning hall. 

The dinning hall is packed as I push open the doors and make my way to the other side of the room. I look around trying to find my parents or brother, but there aren't here. I guess they still could be asleep.

I make myself a cup of tea before leaving the dinning hall and making my way back to my room, staying as close as possible to the walls incase the my mind begins to make the world spin again.  
I walk slowly around the corner as I take a sip of my tea but wince as the hot water burns my tongue. I sigh softly as I lower the cup and dab my cold fingers on my tongue in hope it will stop the stinging.  
I'm almost to my room when I notice that Tobias is sitting against my door with his head in his hands, my breathing becomes heavy and my hands break out into a nervous sweat as I continue my way towards my door.  
Tobias must feel my presences because he snaps his head up fast and looks directly at me. His eyes are red and puffy, his cheeks have a shine to them as if he has been crying and his hands tremble as he pushes himself from his crouch and turns to face me.

I stare up at him as I reach into my pocket and try to find my key, I tilt my cup slightly and I jump as hot water falls over my hand and burns them slightly.

"Here, let me…" Tobias says softly as he reaches for the cup and takes it from my hands gently.

"Thanks." I say, speaking softer than he did as I finally find my key and step closer to him as I slide the key in quickly and wait to hear the lock snap open as I swing the door open and make my way inside.

"May I come in?" I hear Tobias says from behind me. I turn to see him standing in the same stop, one hand in his pocket and the other holding my cup of tea close to his chest. He shifts his eyes from the ground and than back to my face for only short moments at a time, as if he is scared of me.

"Yeah, of course you can Tobias." I say as I relax my shoulders and reach my hand out for my drink, Tobias steps into my room as he softly passes the cup to me, our fingers brush gently against each other's and my body intensely feels warmer.

I walk over to my bed and crawl into the middle of it as I cross my legs and look up at Tobias, who is pacing back and fourth from my window to the small chair in the left hand corner.

"We need to talk, I guess," I say as I take another sip of my drink and am grateful to realise that it's now a perfect temperature.  
"I lost you." Tobias says suddenly stopping and facing me, his heads are running over his hair and his eyes bore into me as I stare up at him.

"You did." I reply to him as I drop my gaze and place my cup on my bedside table.

"No Tris, you were dead… You were gone, forever… I BELIEVED YOU WERE DEAD!" His voice cracks slightly as he says the word dead and his body is shaking uncontrollable. All I want to do is wrap my arms around his chest and breath in his scent as I press my body closer to his and remind him that I am here now and nothing can change that, but I can't… Something could happen and this life could be taken away from me again and he will be left without me and exposed to the pain all over again. We need to talk about our lives, the lives that happened when I was meant to be dead and he was trying to piece himself back together in a world that I was no longer apart of.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14!**

**Hey guys! I feel as if I owe you all another chapter, considering I left you all hanging for such a long time! This one is a lot short then normal and a little rushed but I still like it alot. I'm sorry about any mistakes.  
I don't own Divergent. **

**I hope you like it .  
xxx**

"I was dead to you, I understand that Tobias." I say as I look up at him, his eyes scream for me to touch him but we both know we wont be able to control ourselves if we let that happen right now. We will burry ourselves into each other and it will only stop this pain for a brief moment, not forever.

"I spent every single day waking up with this hole inside of me, a hole that I tried to fill with every day activities but nothing would fill it." His voice keeps cracking and he turns away from me, looking out the window.

"You got me through so much Tris, in such a short amount of time and everyone told me it will take a while to be able to look back and be happy with the amount of time we spent with each other." I hear him let out a shaky breath before he continues. "It worked for everyone else, Christina would speak about you from time to time, testing me to see if I could handle it… but every time she did I would just walk away from her. My memory of you was always so strong in my mind, it is still strong but it was never caused me happiness, just sadness always sadness." He presses his forehead into the glass and I can see the fog that begins to build almost straight away from his warm breath.

I think about the moment I felt his hand grab mine as he pulled me from the net, his eyes so deep in his head that his eyelashes touch the skin under his eyebrows, the colour of his eyes… so dark that the blue almost wasn't recognizable because of the deem light. Sometimes I think I can still feel the firm touch his hands around my arms has he pulled me from the net and set me on my feet.  
"It wasn't long enough." I say softly, mostly just to myself as another memory washes over me.

"No, it wasn't" Tobias says as I hear his footsteps move closer towards me, the bed shakes as he sits down at the foot of it and looks at me.

"I didn't sleep with Nita because I loved her, I slept with her because I was drunk and I thought…" He runs his hands over his pants as he tries to remove the sweat that is building up. "I thought that I would fill the empty feeling inside of me, I thought maybe it would be ok if I slept with her and I might have fixed everything that had gone wrong." He hangs his head in shame as he admits to why he slept with Nita. I begin to reach my hand out to touch the back of his neck, to show him that it is ok and I do understand why he slept with her but I can't. The images of them together explodes in my mind and my stomach turns on itself as I quickly realise I'm about to be sick. I jump up from my bed, ignoring my spinning head as I run towards the bathroom; I slam the door shut behind me as I reach the toilet just in time.

"Tris, are you ok, do you need me to get you anything?" I hear Tobias say from the other side of the door. I roll over and stare up at the ceiling as I let a single tear escape and roll down my cheek. _Why did my life turn out like this?_ I scream at myself inside my head, why does Tobias sleeping with another girl hurt me? Isn't it natural for people to sleep with more than one person in their lifetime? But than again, Tobias and I come from a place where all physical contact is meant to display a hundred different emotions felt for them and only them. Did Tobias care about Nita in away that he didn't for me?

"Tris, please." I hear Tobias beg as he knocks softly on the door.

"Come in." I say as loudly as my voice would allow. I wipe my cheeks with the back of my palms, I didn't realise how much I was crying until I felt how wet my face actually is.

Tobias opens the door slowly, peaking his head around first; he gives me a confused look when he looks down at me lying on the bathroom floor.

"That's most likely not the cleanest thing you could be doing right now Tris." He says in a light tone, trying to make us both feel more conferrable I guess.

"Come lay beside me." I say bluntly as I turn my attention back to the ceiling. I feel the vibrations coming through the floor as he walks towards the shelves along the wall opposite me, my stomach clenches together as I realise he must not want lay with me, I try to ignore the sharp pain of rejection that spreads through my body as I turn my attention back to the ceiling. I hear him open and close the doors of my bathroom shelves that only hold towels… I think anyway, I haven't actually looked at the things that have been place in my new room for me. I hear the light shuffle of his feet make there way closer to me before I feel his body heat radiate from him and onto the side my of body, I clench my hands shut as I fight the need to reach out and entwine out fingers together but before I can decide whether or not to touch him I feel his hands touch my hair lightly as he lifts my head and places a soft blue towel under me.  
"Here you go." He says, trying to sound casual as he lies down besides me.

"I need to ask you something Tobias." I say slowly, not knowing if this is going to make me feel better or hurt me more.

"You can ask me anything Tris, please know that." He replies to me. I feel his hand edge itself closer to mine but I pull my hand in closer to my body, I'm not ready to touch him. Not yet anyway.

I suck in as much air as possible as let it out slowly before asking my question.

"I understand why you felt that sleeping with Nita may have helped you, may have helped fill the hole inside of you." I clench my eyes shut, trying to block out the images that are making their way into my imagination. "But what I don't understand is _what _you actually felt for her? I mean, we both come from Abnegation and we were taught that any form of psychical contact like that should mean everything to you and the person you are sharing it with…" I let out a short and shaky breath before continuing. "I guess what I'm trying to ask it, what did it mean to you?" I say my question so quickly that I'm afraid he may not have herd it correctly and ask me to repeat it, and I don't think I can.

I feel Tobias swift beside me and let out a loud and heavy sigh.

"I didn't have feelings for her Tris, she just happened to be there when I had consumed a whole bottle of whiskey and so had she, we started talking and the next thing I new I woke up next to her in her bed." I can't help but look at him as he answers my question, he has both hands covering his eyes and his bottom lip quivers every few moments as if he is holding in a sob. "I slept with her twice, both times I was drunk and then I stopped drinking… Sleeping with her never made me feel better Tris, it made me feel worse." He says the last sentence so strongly and I'm startled when he removes his hands and turns his head to look at me. We are so close that the very tips of our noses touch and I can't stop myself from reaching out my hand and entwining our fingers together, just like we use to. A small smile breaks out on Tobias face, but its met with a small tear that has fallen across his nose and down the cheek that is pressed against the floor.  
"I'm not mad at you Tobias, I have no right to be mad at you… I died, I was gone and you didn't know I would be coming back. So I'm not mad." I say to him, but his eyes are still filled with pain.

"I never thought I'd be that type of person, the type of person who would sleep with someone and regret it afterwards." He says the words so simply and casually but I know how powerful they are. We may not be in the city anymore and we let go of our faction's ways a long time ago but some traits can still be found buried deep down inside of us.  
"I never thought I'd have to face a war and be taken away from everyone I loved just because I was different." I say casually back, hoping that maybe he will understand why I've said this.  
"But you got through it and you are safe now." He says back as he strokes the side of my face gently with the back of his fingers.

"But we lost almost three years of time with each other, sometimes I feel like I don't even know you and everyone else anymore."

"I still know you Beatrice Prior." He pronounces my full name perfectly as his cups my chin and brings his face down to mine until his lips are pressed against mine.


End file.
